Is This The End?
by MGD109
Summary: Mistakes. Terrible things, some big, some small, all horrible. They have brought down Empires. They had caused Wars between countries. They have driven good men to Suicide. But can they break up Sheldon and Amy? Now that is a riddle for the ages. Will things be made right again? How much change can two people survive? Is there hope, or is this the end of Shamy?
1. Chapter 1

**Is This The End?**

**A/N: Disclaimer- The Big Bang Theory belongs to CBS, Warner Bros, Chuck Lorre, Bill Prady. This story is meant simply for entertainment purposes. I would also like to apologise for any spelling, grammar or word misuse errors that occur in this story, I have mild dyslexia, and as such despite my best efforts, they maybe such errors in said story. Now on to the story**

* * *

Chapter One: The Great Mistake

Penny shook her head as she heard Amy carrying on about tonight, she had arranged for something very special for date night between her and Sheldon tonight. Apparently she had been planning it for months. And from the sound of things she had pulled out all the stops. "Slow down," Penny said, "I can barely keep up with what you're talking about."

Amy sighed, "Sorry Penny," she said, "I'm just so excited, I can wait to see the look on Sheldon's face when I reveal what I have planned. He'll love it, I know he will, everything is exactly the way he likes it." Penny shook her head, "that's impossible," she replied, "No, it really is." Amy replied happily, "it's a sci-fi themed restaurant, complete with items from popular Science Fiction shows and movies and special inspired and named food." Penny nodded, that did sound like Sheldon's cup of tea.

Then another thought occurred to her "It's not a kids restaurant is it?" she asked. Amy paused, and blushed slightly, "no," she stretched out the word as if empathising; "it's just focuses mostly on them." Penny rolled her eyes. "Sweetie, don't you think this says something about your relationship." Amy paused, "well," she said uncertainly, "as in this place reflects your boyfriend." Penny added.

Amy didn't reply, instead she decided to move the conversation along. "Regardless, it will be great; I spent ages looking for a place like this there is only one in the whole of Pasadena." "I think I know why," Penny replied. "And I bought a beautiful blue dress for the occasion," Amy continued, "I'm sure Sheldon will appreciate that," Penny replied sarcastically.

Amy smiled at the thought of their night, it would go so well, she was so looking forward to tonight and the best part was Sheldon had no idea. It had taken her ages to persuade him to let her plan there date night, and he kept pestering him about it. She knew he generally didn't like surprises, but tonight would be the exception.

And maybe if things went really well, he might… Amy paused unsure what she was going to say. She had her fantasies, but there was more chance of Penny winning the Nobel Prize then there was of any of them ever coming true. Still Sheldon reacted well to being made happy, she had spent a whole weak trying to make him as happy as she could and he had started holding her hand afterwards. Maybe if tonight went well enough, he might actually…

Amy shrugged, best not to think about those sorts of things, it would just leave her disappointed if it didn't come true. Regardless, he would love tonight, she knew he would and that's all that mattered wasn't it? Making him happy, he made her happy after all…not in the same way, but he still made her happy, so she should make him happy.

Penny watched Amy sitting there lost in her thoughts, she didn't even need to guess to know what she was thinking about. She sighed, poor Amy. She didn't disagree that she and Sheldon fitted together, but the idea of Sheldon being in any form of relationship was still difficult to swallow. How could a relationship exist without either sexual or romantic attraction?

She shook her head; it wasn't even possible to think about. Looking at Amy still sitting there lost in her thoughts, she shook her head again, poor Amy, she probably would never get what she wanted, there was no way Sheldon was going to give it to her any time soon, the idea of him ever doing so was well beyond the realms of reality. Still why spoil her fantasies? Penny walked off and got another drink leaving her friend in her thoughts.

* * *

Amy stared at the mirror; her reflection looked back at her. She was wearing a long blue dress; she had picked it out specially. She had wanted to go for something tighter or skimpier, but there was no way she could bring herself to wear anything like that. She would never be able to. So she got this instead, she still looked beautiful. She was wearing more make up than usual, and wore her hair down like she normally did. She was also wearing heels, slight ones, but heels never the less.

Still smiling she looked at her watch; it was 6:35, that gave her plenty of time to get to Sheldon's and then to the restaurant. Smiling she walked out of her apartment and closed the door. For some reason she had a strong feeling that tonight, would be the night that everything changed.

In her hurry to leave she forgot her Cell phone and it wasn't till she was in her car and on the road that she realised it was missing. Amy considered turning round and getting it, normally she would never leave home without it, but as it was already quarter to seven, she decided not to, it couldn't be that important could it?

* * *

Arriving at the building she slowly walked up the stairs and knocked on Sheldon's door. She waited for a reply, the door slowly opened and Sheldon stood there. Amy's first thought was he was wearing his casual clothes a bit disappointing, but she could over look that. Her second one however was the look of surprise on his face when he saw her.

"Amy?" he said, "what are you doing here?" Amy was taken back, "its date night," she said shocked, surely he couldn't have forgotten, what was wrong with him? He never forgot… anything. Her mind was already flashing to images of hospitalisation before he spoke again "didn't you get my text?" he asked. "No," Amy replied, suspiciously.

Sheldon sighed, "Oh, well you see the thing is I hoping we could postpone date night till tomorrow." The words hit Amy like a ton of bricks. "What?" she replied shocked? "It's just there's a sci-fi movie marathon on tonight, which I wanted to watch." Sheldon replied, "I considered asking you to join me, but I know you don't really like those sort of movie, for reasons that are beyond me, so I sent you a text asking if you minded if we waited to tomorrow, when you didn't reply I assumed you didn't mind."

Amy just stood there; she was too shocked to speak, "so do you mind?" Sheldon asked hopefully, "No go ahead." Amy murmured still to shocked to speak properly. "Great," Sheldon replied, "Well I see you tomorrow Amy, have a nice evening." And with that he closed the door. Amy stood there shocked unable to speak. "But…." She finally managed in a small voice "…after all I did."

* * *

Amy was silent all the way home. She closed the door of her apartment and sunk onto the sofa. Amy just sat there in shock, after all she had planned, after all she had done, after all she had spent, it was all for nothing? NOTHING.

Amy jumped to her feet, how could it all be for nothing? After all she had done, after all this time she was still no closer to anything, her relationship was still in Limbo, just as it had been since she had sighed that document for him over a year ago. And even that hadn't changed anything. Sure he was her boyfriend, but what did that matter? They still acted more or less the same, they were still no closer to getting interment, she did everything and he did nothing.

Amy groaned, why? Why couldn't she have what she wanted? Was it so much to ask? Everyone else got it, so why not her? Amy looked over at her mirror; a sixteen year old Amy Farah Fowler stared back at her. Amy shuddered, to many painful memories. But there she was, sixteen year old Amy, undeveloped, crying as always, left alone sitting in a dark corner of the class, trying to bury her sadness in her work. No one liked her, even her teachers had hated her, was her fault if she corrected them for every mistake? If they didn't know it all they shouldn't be teaching it.

Amy continued to look at the Sixteen year old staring back, the only Sixteen year old who could still pass for Twelve and then she realised she was exactly the same. Alone, ignored, forgotten about, unwanted… Still waiting for the good times that she was promised to arrive. Still missing out, while everyone else around her got whatever they wanted.

Why should she wait? The question shot through her. She had been waiting for seventeen years; why not take it for herself? Everyone else did, why shouldn't she? Amy looked back at the mirror, she wasn't an underdeveloped, shy sixteen year old, she as successful young woman, she could do what she wanted, she should do what she wanted. But what did she want?

As Amy stood there, an idea occurred to her. Walking over to her notice board she pulled a flier that came through her door off. "The Inferno" she read a hot new night club not that far away from here, the flier came with a coupon for a free refill. Amy looked at the clock; it was only 7:20. She walked back to the mirror.

Her real self-looked back at her. Amy paused, maybe she could doll herself up a bit more. She was going out after all. Amy turned back to her room. She then spent a while making herself look as good as possible. Emerging, she slowly walked towards the door. But the time she had spent had let doubt spread into her mind. What was she going to do? Go down for drink? Try and get a fling? What would she do?

Amy paused; looking back Amy saw her apartment welcoming her back. Looking Amy spotted the clock, it was now nearly eight. Amy couldn't believe she had spent so long getting ready, what was she doing? She was procrastinating, that was all. She had never been to a club on her own before, it was simply worry. And yet somewhere a small inner voice called out. 'Don't go,' the voice whispered in her ear, 'don't go, you're only going to regret it.'

Amy paused, she could turn back. She could turn back. She had spent her whole life turning back and this is where it had gotten her. Is this what she wanted? To leave life's experiences outside while she huddled in, letting it all pass her by? No. No she didn't want to do that. Amy turned and grabbed her hand bag, before closing the door of her apartment and leaving.

* * *

Sheldon sat back in his spot, he had plenty of popcorn, his spot was as always perfect and the movie marathon had started with Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, one of his personal favourites. Everything should be perfect and yet something was wrong.

No matter how much Sheldon tried he couldn't shift the image of Amy's face when he told her he wanted to postpone their date by one night, it still hung in his mind. Sheldon was terrible at reading emotions, but even he could tell something was wrong, the way she looked at him, it just wasn't right. Something was right.

Sheldon let out a sigh; the adverts were on now, so he was free to keep thinking about this. What could be wrong? He racked his brains, sure Amy would be a bit sad that she had to wait another day before she got to spend her quality time with him, but surely that couldn't be it? A single day's wait was surely not enough to produce that reaction.

If it was anyone else, Sheldon would be sure she was miserable at being excluded from the marathon, but he knew Amy didn't like this sort of movies, she had told him so on multiple occasions, so surely she wouldn't be miserable because of that? Would she? Then what else could it be? But if she was then that meant….

Sheldon shook his head "I calculate the motion of heavenly bodies, but not the madness of People," he quoted. Slowly he got to his feet, there was only one answer. He would have to go see her, if she was really sad due to be excluded it was the only answer. But then he would miss the rest of the movie. Sheldon sank back into his chair. He tried to watch, but not seconds had gone by before he got back to his feet.

He had seen this movie 349 times already…. Which meant this would be the long awaited 350th, he sunk back down. No, this was right; he got back to his feet. He would have to go see Amy; it was the only answer… if hurried maybe they could watch it together.

He turned to the door, grabbing his keys from the bowl. He paused, how to get there? Leonard was out with Penny and would be for some time yet. Howard was spending the night with his wife and Raj was working late. None of them could provide him with a ride. And he had no other contacts, he would have to stay here. Sheldon turned back to walk over to his seat.

No, there was one answer. Sheldon turned off the TV and grabbing the phone called a taxi. He hated Taxi's; you had no idea who had used it last. The idea of the germs and other bacterium that were swimming around in those seats sickened him. But it was his only option left open. He groaned again before slowly walking down the stairs. The things he had to do for others.

* * *

Amy slowly walked up to the doors; there it was "The Inferno," right in front of her. She could hear music playing, and the sound of laughter. But once again doubt filled her mind, 'go back' the voice whispered again, it was a soft voice, soft and nurturing, 'Just turn around and go back, it's not too late, just don't through those doors, you don't belong here we both know that. Don't make a mistake, you don't belong here.' Amy took a deep breath. "I do now," she said to herself. And with that she walked through the doors.

The club was already in full swing, groups of people sat around laughing and drinking. Music played, couples were laughing and dancing. People were having a good time. Amy gulped, she felt like the spotlight had been shone on her for the first time in her life. She tried to move, but she was dazzled. She had been to clubs before, but only with Penny and Bernadette, she had never been to anything like this on her own.

She thought about running out the door, it would be so easy. 'But that's your problem Farrah Fowler' she told herself, 'you always run and look where it's got you. Tonight I stop running.' Slowly Amy walked up to the bar and ordered a drink. Taking it, she found an empty table by the side and sat down. Now the fun could begin.

* * *

Sheldon walked up to Amy's apartment. It had taken him longer than he wanted to get here, why was traffic so bad tonight? He shook his head, before knocking "Amy…Amy…Amy." Sheldon waited for some reply. Nothing, he paused before knocking again, "Amy…Amy…Amy," again silence. Slightly worried, Sheldon took out his phone. Selecting number one on speed dial, he called Amy. He paused waiting for an answer, until he realised he could hear the sound of a phone ringing.

Amy's phone was inside…but where was Amy? Feeling worried; know Sheldon pulled out his lock pick, in less than a minute the door was open. Slowly he walked in, something was wrong. Looking around Sheldon could see no sign of life. He quickly examined the apartment, there was no one here. Where was Amy?

Penny was out with Leonard, Bernadette was spending the night with Howard, Amy didn't have any other friends that Sheldon knew about, so where could she be? Sheldon paused; Amy was outside his Apartment 6:50, assuming the traffic were the same; it would have taken her an extra ten minutes to get here, which would mean she would have gotten back here at 7:10. It was now, 8:20. That meant that she could have gone anywhere in the last 70 minutes.

Sheldon's eyes shot around the room; surely if she had gotten back she would have left some sign, some clue. And then his eyes spotted the flier on the table. Last time he had been in this apartment, it was on her notice board, now it was on the table. Picking it up Sheldon couldn't help but wonder why Amy would keep a flier for a place like this?

And then he noticed it, the coupon was missing, Amy had taken it. This was all he needed to confirm his suspicions, Amy had for some reason gone to this club "The Inferno" it said. Why was beyond Sheldon. He considered turning around and going home, but knowing he would find no peace if he did, Sheldon walked out of the apartment. Unwilling to endure the confinement of another Taxi cab, Sheldon decided to walk. It wasn't that far.

* * *

Sitting at her table, Amy was beginning to wonder what she had been thinking. She had been sitting here for twenty minutes and that was all, she had barely finished her drink. Looking around, she saw everyone had a friend, or others, she was the only one sitting on her own. And it made her feel even more alone.

Why had she come? What had she possible thought she could gain from doing this? Amy was about to get up and leave, when suddenly a figure walked up to her table. He was an average sized man, thin, but handsome, with straight black hair and green eyes. He was dressed casually; he had pearly white teeth and an inviting smile. From the look of him, Amy would guess he was somewhere in his early thirties.

"I hope I'm not intruding," he said, he had a soft, almost silky voice, "but I couldn't help notice your sitting on your own, here I got you a drink," he handed Amy a strange looking concoction. It was bright blue. Unsure Amy hesitated. "Go on," he said, "you won't regret it, try some." Gingerly, Amy took a sip, only to fill a wave of pleasure, go through her body. She smiled, unsure what the ingredients of the drink were, but she didn't care they tasted so good. It made her feel warm inside.

"So tell me," the man went on, "what's a pretty girl like you doing, sitting all alone?" Amy smiled, she took another sip of her drink, and once again the wave went through her. She was already feeling a bit dizzy, but not caring she took another. "It's complicated," she replied, "is it?" the man replied. His sharp green eyes stared directly at Amy, in an unusual sort of way.

Amy paused, "well not really," she said. "Are you telling me that somehow you don't have anyone?" he asked, Amy paused, she took another sip she couldn't get enough of this drink, what was in it? "I suppose not," she said, it wasn't true, but what the hey?

The man smiled, reaching forward he took Amy's hand and began to softly rub it. Amy giggled slightly, like a school girl. "Well my dear, I think you have a problem," the man said, "if you know what I mean?" Amy nodded, taking another sip; the lovely liquid was almost all gone now. "Well, I hope you don't find me presumptuous," the man carried on, "but I might be able to offer you some much needed relief…" Amy smiled, enjoying the feeling as he softly rubbed against her hands. "And don't worry…" the man continued, although not really paying attention, for a second it looked like his eyes flashed, "…I can assure you it won't cost much."

Amy's eyes opened wide, she pulled her hand back. "You're a…" she began, but the man silenced her, "yes, yes I am," for a moment Amy was coherent again, but before she could think any further the man continued to talk. "I'm sorry if I led you to think anything else, but before you run away hear me out for a second, is it really so wrong?"

He paused, and slipping back again Amy let him carry on, "Sometimes people need a little relief, but they don't have anyone to give it to them. That's where I come in; I give them what they need. They need to get laid and I need to eat, is it really so wrong? It's not illegal, is it really so immoral? I simply provide a service, that's all, a simple service. I give them what they want and what they need, is what I do really so bad?"

Amy went to speak, but the man continued "and don't worry, no one's forcing you into anything, if you don't want what I'm offering just say so, and I'll go. I'm just another man trying to provide a service, and like all services if you're not interested, you don't have to buy it." Amy paused; normally she would have left long before now. But once again her mind was cloudy, her attention was slipping.

Once again she tried to speak, but once again the man carried on, "tell you what, how about I buy you another drink and let you think all this over. Remember, if you're not interested no one's forcing you." He got to his feet and waked to the bar. Amy drank the reminder of her drink, try as she might; her first thoughts were she wanted more.

She shouldn't do it, she knew she shouldn't. However in her intoxicated mind brought other thoughts to the surface. Why? Why shouldn't she? I mean was it really so bad? It wasn't cheating, not really? And would he really care? Why should he care? And if he didn't, why should she? Amy half-heartedly tried to push those thoughts, but cravings she usually kept under control were released by the alcohol. I mean why not? It was that drink, it was so good, so why shouldn't she want it? And if she wanted it, why not have it?

* * *

Left to her thoughts, the man watched from the bar. He had been in this game long enough to recognise the expressions. She was swaying. He smiled, it was always the same, these bars were always filled with rich, ugly women who weren't getting it anywhere else and out of desperation had come to places like this on impulse.

And people like her were just ripe for the picking. He smiled coldly, a few special drinks and some sweet words and they would agree to anything he wanted. Sometimes he didn't even need to go all the way through with it. Sometimes the mere first stages were enough to drive them far enough that they paid him. Those were the best, at least then he didn't have to go through with it, with the ones who looked like her.

He chuckled coldly. The barkeep handed him her drink. One more these and it should be enough to push her straight over the edge and then she was his. He was about to leave when another man called out. He turned and sitting at the bar was someone he recognised, "you," the man muttered, "you snivelling son of bitch, what are you doing here, as if I didn't know."

"Get lost," he replied, "don't you talk to me like that," the other man replied, "so who you swindling and corrupting tonight? A sixteen year old? A nun?" The man rolled his eyes, "I don't do anything illegal," he replied, "what's you problem?" The other man snarled, "If it's not illegal, then there is something seriously wrong with this country's justice system."

Once again the man rolled his eyes uncaringly, how much longer would this take. "Can you hurry it up," he said coolly, "I do have a potential client waiting." The others man's eyes narrowed, "listen," he said coldly, "I know some local wolves and the such, and there good people, I don't like them or nothing, but there good people, there just doing a bad job." He paused "and then there is you," he went on.

"You're not even a wolf; you don't even have the right to claim that, you're a fox, a weak and sly coward, who preys on the vulnerable and innocent." The man chuckled, "there never that innocent when I'm finished with them," he said coldly and with that he walked off.

He returned to Amy's table, "sorry about the hold up," he said calmly, "I just met up with an old friend." The bar was too far away and the music was too loud for Amy to have heard their conversation. Upon placing the drink down, Amy quickly grabbed the glass. Throwing caution to the wind, she drank half the contents in seconds. The man watched in surprise, but he managed to keep a straight face.

He waited till Amy had put the drink down, calmly he reached forward she let him take her hand. Gently he began to massage it again. Amy smiled, it felt so good, and the final drink had pushed all her inhibitions out. "So," he calmly said, "have you given any more thought to my proposal, remember it's your choice, it's whatever you want, either way."

Amy paused; somewhere something was trying to scream out. But it was too late, Amy smiled, drunkenly, "sure," she said, incoherently, "why not?" The man smiled coldly, helping her to her feet, he led Amy away. From the bar, the other man just watched and shook his head.

* * *

Sheldon walked in the door, the club was everything he dreaded. Loud music, drunken patrons, couples slurring together on the dancing floor. He shuddered, it was a den of iniquity, such a place, was no place for a person like Amy, or for him for that matter.

Navigating passed the others Sheldon walked up to the bar. "What do you want to drink?" the barkeep asked. "I don't want a drink," Sheldon replied, "I'm looking for a woman." "Well you won't get much luck dressed like that," another man replied, they all laughed. "I'm looking for my girlfriend," Sheldon said annoyed "I can see why she ran away," the other man jeered, once again the men laughed.

Sheldon turned to leave, when the men called him back, "calm down mate, were only messing with you, now what does your girlfriend look like? Is she five feet tall, and has pointed ears with green skin." Once again the men laughed.

Aggressively Sheldon turned, "if you must know," he snapped, "she is five foot four, is thirty three years old, has just below shoulder length mid brown hair, brown eyes with golden flakes, is wearing a long blue dress, with white buttons, is slightly cubby, has an oval shaped face, with a slight point on her chin, wears light brown circular glasses, was wearing light red lipstick, quite a bit of makeup and about two inch red heels. Does that help?"

The men were silenced, "She looks like this," Sheldon snapped taking out his phone and bringing up the picture of her. Several men's eyes opened wide, "that's your girlfriend." One of them said, "What you implying," Sheldon replied coldly, "nothing," the man replied, "it's not like that it's just…" "What?" Sheldon asked.

The men gulped, "it's just, well," one of the men began, "here you better sit down, and I'll buy you a drink," he said, "what's going on?" Sheldon asked coldly. The man looked at each other, and then as if passing the baton down, kept looking down to the last man. "What?" Sheldon asked, now starting to get worried. Something was clearly wrong. The last man took a deep breath, "you better brace yourself for a shock," he said causally, "What Is It?" Sheldon practically screamed. The man took a deep breath, he had to tell him.

* * *

Lying with her back on table, Amy felt the man's hands rushing over her body. She moaned in pleasure, even after all her dreams she never thought it would feel this good and she hadn't even gotten near the end yet. Boy had she been missing out. She lay there smiling. Her eyes closed as she visualised the feelings that were going through her.

It was so good, so… so…so, something kept interrupting her. Once again that voice was back, it was now almost begging her to stop, Amy silenced it with a thought, and she went back to enjoying herself. But then the voice spoke out again, and this time it had a different voice. 'Hello Amy,' a man's voice said calmly.

For a second Amy opened her eyes, there was no one else about. She closed them again, the feelings were so good, so good, so… 'Are you not replying?' the familiar voice asked. In her mind's eye Amy looked up, there was Sheldon casually watching her. Amy was taken aback, you're not real, she told herself. You're not real.

Imaginary Sheldon casually walked closer, 'real or not,' he said calmly, 'I'm not going anywhere,' Amy tried to silence him, but he was right, no matter what she thought, he was still there. Well you can't stop me Amy replied, 'I know, and I'm not going to try to,' imaginary Sheldon calmly said, 'but I just want you to know, I'm here, I'm watching and I'm not going anywhere.'

Why? Amy asked, 'not yet,' Imaginary Sheldon continued, 'I just want to know, are you really willing to go through with this with me here? I want to do this, Amy told herself. 'Do you?' Sheldon asked, before Amy could answer he continue he cut her off 'No, no you don't.' Amy tried to reply, but he cut her off again.

'You can lie to yourself, you can lie to your friends, but not to me, Amy this isn't you, this isn't right, look.' Amy paused unsure 'open your eyes and look.' He said, 'look around, look at what you're doing, look.' And as he spoke, the confusion in her mind began to melt away and once again Amy could think straight.

'Look,' Imaginary Sheldon said again 'look and think, think what you're doing. Think.' As her mind cleared, the implications of her actions suddenly began to unfold before her. What was she doing? She was in a darkened back room, half naked on top of table, about to lose her virginity to man she didn't even know, who she was paying to do this? What was she thinking? What was she doing? She had to stop this, if anyone ever found out then she would… She had to stop this. Amy knew she did.

Amy was about to try and pull free, when suddenly the man was quickly prised off her. Amy's eyes opened wide in shock and she sat up like a bolt of lightning. She was just in time to see the man fly into the wall. Standing above was Sheldon. His blue eyes burning inferno's fit for hell itself, his fists clenched, his teeth bared, his nostrils flaring like an animal. He turned to face the man.

The look on his face was so intense, that if looks could kill, his would wipe out the entire east coast in seconds. "What the h…" the man angrily began. But before he could even finish, Sheldon's fist smashed into his face. He went flying backwards and collided with the wall head fist. Groaning he collapsed onto another table, which he then brought down on top of him as he collapsed. He lay there, unconscious.

Slowly Sheldon turned to Amy. As he did his look softened, his anger was gone. But his gaze was still painful. It reeked of Pain, Shock, Sorrow, Misery and worst of all, Disappointment. Amy felt the look cutting right through her. She hung her head. Her heart ached; it was like a sharp knife was slowly being driven through it. She tried to speak, but she couldn't think of a single thing to say.

Sheldon just stood there, to shocked to do anything other than stare. He felt like his heart had been ripped out and thrown under a bus. As his unblinking eyes continued to stare at her, Amy felt like she was shrinking. Smaller and smaller and smaller still, she tried to turn away she couldn't face his eyes, but no matter what she did, it wasn't enough, she still felt tiny and insignificant. She still ached inside. Looking up at Sheldon, Amy barely felt an inch tall.

Once again she tried to speak, "Sheldon I…" she tried, but he cut her off, "just... just don't talk to me," Sheldon said his voice breaking, his eyes watering; he slowly turned and walked out of the room. Closing the door behind him, he left Amy in the darkness.

Amy sat there in the darkness, she shivered the room was suddenly cold. Sitting there, she huddled up. What had she done? What had she done? WHAT HAD SHE DONE? Left alone she just couldn't stop herself sobbing; it didn't take her ten seconds before she was balling. What had she done?

* * *

**Well I hope you like my new story, I will add the next chapter as soon as I can. I should be a longer than this one, and expect a lot of shocks. Lets just say these events of this chapter very deeply affect Sheldon and Amy, and not in any way that is even remotely close to good. Hope you enjoyed reading it.**

**Please Review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Is This The End?**

* * *

Chapter Two: Let the Sky Fall

Sheldon slowly walked through the dark streets of Pasadena. Throughout his mind the images of the night continued to play over and over again. The look of shock on the men's faces when he showed them Amy's picture, the sight of Amy lying on the back of that table, with that tempter hanging over her and finally the look of her as he stared at her before he had left her there in the darkness.

His eyes still watering, Sheldon continued to walk down the streets. Again and again the images played and replayed. Again and again. Sheldon suddenly let out a scream. "Shut up. Shut up. Shut up," he shouted, but no matter what he did he couldn't shift the images. He couldn't forget it was impossible for him to forget. His mind was continually turning and churning the mixture, he couldn't shut it off. It carried on and on, like it was mocking him. His own mind was mocking him. Snarling Sheldon smashed his fist into a brick wall.

He winched in pain. His knuckles already ached from punching down whoever the gigolo leaning over Amy was. But somehow the pain felt different, it was painful, but it wasn't… he had no idea what it wasn't, it just wasn't. Slowly he carried on. Every step of the way was the same; nothing could shift the images, or the feelings, or any of it, all of it continued on and on and on again.

By the time he had arrived at the building and had gotten up the stairs. He was long lost in a turbulent sea of negative emotions. Entering the room, he saw Leonard and Penny sitting on the coach, kissing. They had clearly returned in the time he had been gone. Not caring Sheldon walked past them, his head hung. However Penny spotted him.

Breaking the kiss, she jumped to her feet. Leonard shot him an annoyed look, but he didn't care. "So how did your night with Amy go?" Penny asked. Sheldon stopped in the middle of the room. "I don't want to talk about it." He said solemnly. The mere mention of her name had caused his eyes to water again.

Penny started at Sheldon's back in shock, "what do you mean?" she asked, "I don't want to talk about it," Sheldon repeated, this time slower and putting more emphasis on the words, and with that he continued to walk away. Penny rolled her eyes, "honestly Sheldon, you are most insensitive person in the world." Sheldon stopped suddenly. Slowly he turned round to face her. "What did you say?" he asked coldly, his voice was deeper than normal, but Penny didn't notice.

"After all she did for you and to you tonight, you don't even want to think about it?" Penny asked, "I don't understand you, how you can keep a relationship is beyond me," Sheldon's fists clenched, but not noticing the danger Penny continued to talk "I swear your drive her to arms of another man, that's all your actions will do. And then you'll be sorry."

Upon hearing this, Sheldon looked up; he was now staring straight at her. Somewhere inside him the last restraints snapped. The previously simmering sea of pain was now boiling. He straightened up to his full height, still facing her, reguardless something about his posture was wrong. "Oh, I'm sorry," Sheldon said coldly, "I'm sorry that I ever met you. I'm sorry that you have nothing more meaningful in your life, that you're forced to pry into the business of others. That's what I'm sorry about, you worthless, stupid hack!"

Penny stared at him, "What did you call me?" she snapped, her eyes narrowing. "What's the matter you deaf as well as dumb now?" He snapped back. His voice was shifting; it was like it was like it was caught between two very different voices.

Penny walked forward towards him, "Sheldon, I swear if you don't take that back I will…" Penny began, but before she could finish, Sheldon suddenly charged forwards pushing her back against the wall. "Your do what?" Sheldon shouted back at her, his voice had now completely changed. He was now speaking in his native birth accent, his Texan draw slivered out of his mouth like a cobra. The way he spoke, it was nothing like his silky smooth voice he normally had. It was cold; it was deep and it was almost frightening to listen to.

"Get off me." Penny shouted trying to push him away. However Sheldon pushed back, knocking her against the wall again, Penny groaned in pain. He then threw his arm against her neck, holding her in place against the wall. Penny choked. "Listen," he snarled, his voice getting lower, "And this time listen good, I'm sick of your prying, I'm of your comments, and most all I'm sick of you, do you understand me?"

Penny was still trying to struggle, "do you?" Sheldon snarled again. Penny pushed back trying to throw him off, but he had a grip of iron. "Let go of me." Penny shouted. Sheldon let out a great snarl. His hands moved like lightning grabbing Penny's sides he hoisted her several inches into the air. They two were now eye level.

And the look in Sheldon's eyes chilled Penny to the bone. His eyes were like boiling pools of fire, furry and rage burning away angrily. And yet throughout the rage, was another emotion, pain, so much pain. "Do You?" Sheldon bellowed. "Yes, yes, now let me go." Penny screamed, but this time quieter, something about his eyes had damaged her spirit.

Sheldon continued to stare coldly; he held his grip showing no signs of releasing his captive. "Let me go." Penny screamed again. She kicked him violently, hoping he would loosen his grasp. Sheldon yelled out, he bent forward in pain, but he didn't let go. He straightened up, before suddenly spinning round. He threw Penny across the room; she collided with the floor hard. Looking up she saw him staring down at her, still snarling like an animal.

"Sheldon!" Leonard shouted, finally broken from his trance, "What's the matter with you?" he ran over to Penny's side. "What's that matter?" Sheldon repeated coldly, "What's the matter, I'll tell you what's the matter. Things Fall Apart." Turning he moved sort of swaying around the room uncertainly, "Things Fall Apart, the Centre Cannot Hold; Mere Anarchy is loosened upon the world. The Blood dimmed Tide Is Loosened and Everywhere the Ceremony of Innocence is drowned."

He paused his voice getting softer suddenly, his anger seemed to melt away, "The Best Lack all Conviction and the Worst are Full of Passionate Intensity." He slowly collapsed onto a chair "Surely some Revelation is at Hand; Surely the Second Coming is at Hand." Slowly Leonard helped Penny to her feet, the two watched Sheldon, he was just sitting there, his gaze was distant it was like he was no longer paying any attention to either of them.

"The Darkness Drops again but now I know that twenty centuries of stony sleep were vexed to nightmare by a Rocking cradle, And what rough beast, its hour come round at last, Slouches towards Bethlehem born?" And with that he stopped, his eyes began to water. Beginning to cry he got to his feet and walked off to his room. He slammed the door behind him.

Leonard and Penny just stood there trying to take into account what had just happened, "what happened to him?" Leonard said. "I have no idea," Penny replied unsure. "Whatever it is," she said, "something is seriously wrong." "I've never seen him like that," Leonard said, "he's gotten angry before, very angry, but this was like none of them, he's never turned violent before, out of rage or out of anything else for that matter." "Something's seriously shook him." Penny replied. "But what could shake a man like that?" Leonard asked. Both of them were left without a single answer.

* * *

Amy slowly walked into her apartment; it was almost four in the morning now. She would have probably stayed in that dark room until hell froze over if given the chance, but the owner had kicked her out when the club had closed. She had spent almost seven hours sitting in the darkness. The man, whoever he was, had woken up at some point and had just run off, she hadn't noticed, she hadn't been paying him too much attention.

Amy walked over to the mirror, her tears had caused her makeup to run and a good portion of it had fallen on her dress. The blue colour which had made her smile yesterday now made her feel sick. What had she done?

And then as she looked her reflection scowled at her, 'Turn away,' her voice said coldly 'I don't want to look at the likes of you.' Amy gulped, hanging her head, 'look away or I'll crack myself,' the reflection said coldly, 'death's better than spending time with your like.' "I…I'm sorry," Amy managed, tears rolling down her cheeks.

'SORRY,' her reflection shouted back, 'after all you did, you're sorry? Well I'm sorry little Miss Jezebel, but sorry doesn't cut it, Now Get out of MY Sight!' Sobbing Amy turned away. Slowly she walked backwards into her bedroom. Turning she saw her bed lying before her. She couldn't sleep; she couldn't even bring herself to try.

Turning she saw her other mirror before her. 'I Told you to get lost,' her reflection screamed, 'look at you dolled up like a slut, because that's all you are isn't it, that's all your worth, your nothing else, nothing.' Amy was already crying this made her ball. She swayed forward to get away from the mirror; she was now looking at her dresser.

All her photos glared back at her coldly. Many turned their heads so they didn't have to look at her. "I'm sorry, I really am," Amy managed through her tears. A great cry resounded around her 'Sorry? You're Sorry?' Amy backed away. Her eyes darted the room trying to find something else. But they were all around her, all glaring, and sighing and hating her, they hated her.

Amy's face turned to the picture of her getting awarded her doctorate. 'You,' she called, 'If I knew this is what you would become, I would have given back to them then and there. The likes of you don't deserve to be a doctor; you don't even deserve to be in the presence of one.' Amy turned away, her eyes now fixed upon another picture this one much more recent, a picture of her taken only a few months ago, all poised and dignified and successful. 'How could you?' the image asked, tears falling down its face, 'how could you let us fall so far? What happened to your self-respect? What happened to me?'

"I…I…I didn't mean to…" Amy tried to speak, but the picture had already looked away. Still crying Amy turned again and then her eyes fixed upon another picture, "no," Amy sobbed, "not you, please don't, I couldn't take it, please don't." she begged. She continued to stare at Sixteen year old Amy, sitting there, wearing an oversized school uniform, even though it was meant for girls three years bellow her. Just sitting in the corner; crying like she always did. Slowly she looked up, 'If I knew I would become you…' she said, still crying '…I would have just slit my wrists here and now, it would have been better than becoming you. Nothing can ever make up for what you've done.'

And that broke her. Balling, Amy ran through the door, she had to get away. She ran straight into her couch, and fell over on top of it, landing with her head on top of the cushions. Slowly she slipped over, and huddled up on the sofa. Her apartment was dark, unfriendly faces surrounded her on all sides. Amy huddled up, watching as they all glared at her. All asking the same question 'How could you Amy? How could you?' And left there all alone Amy realised she didn't have an answer; she didn't have an answer for any of it.

Amy paused looking through the blackness "There groaned a Noise, as of a sea in tempest torn by warring winds. The stormy blasts of hell with restless fury drives the spirits on, whirled round and dashed amain with sore annoy. When they arrive before the ruinous sweep, there shrieks are heard, there lamentations, moans and blasphemies 'gainst the good Power of heaven. I understood, that to this torment sad the carnal sinners are condemned, in whom reason by lust is swayed."

And with that she started crying again, she was dammed for the rest of her existence and she had done it all to herself.

* * *

Slowly Leonard walked back and forth across the apartment, Penny watched him unsure, "you need to calm down," she said, Leonard shook his head "where are they?" he asked. "Relax," Penny said, "there not late, you only phoned them an hour ago and it will take them time to get this done." Leonard nodded, "I know," he said calmly. "It's just I'm worried, I've never seen him like this before, he hasn't left his room all morning."

"Sweetie," Penny said calmly, "evidently something went very wrong last night and whatever it is, it's left some scars." "Some scars?" Leonard replied, "I didn't think ripping open his chest would produce this sort of reaction. Any idea what happened yet?" he asked, Penny shook her head, "I tried calling Amy, but she wasn't replying." "What could have happened?" Leonard asked, "You don't think they broke up do you?" Penny asked, "Maybe he complained too much and didn't appreciate what she had done for him and she dumped him there and then?"

Leonard shook his head, "they've broken up before and it didn't produce this sort of reaction." "But they weren't as close as this before." Penny replied, Leonard nodded, "true, but I don't know, he's upset and he's angry, but most of all I think he's hurt. Now if I was going to guess, I would say that a break up would make him more miserable than hurt or angry. Besides I don't see what he could have done that would have pushed her over the edge, considering all the other stuff he's already done."

"I guess you're right," Penny replied. There was a knock at the door, "there here," Leonard said, he ran over and opened the door and Bernadette and Howard walked in. "Did you get it?" Leonard quickly asked. "Sure," Howard replied, "we got it, it cost an arm and a leg but here it is." He handed Leonard the box. "One limited addition, 1968 Mr Spock action figure, in mint condition." "If that doesn't cheer him up, I don't know what will." Leonard said.

"Is he really that bad?" Bernadette asked worriedly, "yes," Leonard replied, "you should have seen him last night; it was like nothing I had ever seen in my whole life, he changed moods in a blink of an eye." "He's done that before," Howard replied uncaringly. "He lifted me up and threw me across the room," Penny said aggravated.

The others stared at her, "he's never done that before," Howard said, "wait he lifted you up? Into the air? You?" Penny nodded. "Well here you go bye." he turned to leave. Bernadette grabbed him, "where are you going?" she snapped, "home," he replied, "if he's turned violent, then I'm getting out of here, he's a lot bigger than I am and we all know he dislikes me the most." "You're his friend," Bernadette snapped, "only because of another friend," Howard replied. "You're not going." She snapped, Howard groaned, "fine," he said, "but I weigh a lot less than she does."

Penny stared at him wide eyed, "what are you implying," she snapped angrily, Howard backed against the wall, "What, no, nothing, I'm just severely underweight." He quickly added. "Come on," Leonard said dragging his friend off down the corridor. The girls walked over to the edge listening. "Should we go with them?" Bernadette asked, "Best not crowd him," Penny replied, rubbing the bruise Sheldon gave her last night.

There was a knocking, "what?" Sheldon's voice snapped coldly, "Sheldon, Howards here and he's got something for you, can we come in?" Leonard's voice called; there was a grumbling noise and Sheldon's door opened. It then closed again.

"Well here you are" Howard said, there was a pause, and then Sheldon spoke, "it's a toy." He said coldly, "yep it is, and not just any toy, but a limited edition one of your favourite character, what do you think?" Leonard asked, "You got me a toy?" Sheldon asked coldly, his voice was fluctuating. This time the others didn't reply. Slightly worried, the girls leaned in closer.

"You…Got me…A Toy?" Sheldon said again. "I'm thirty-three years old," he suddenly screamed, "I don't want toys." There was a great crunching noise that caused Howard to shout out, then the sound of glass smashing. "Now get out." He bellowed. "Sheldon…" Leonard began. Suddenly the door opened and two great crashing noises echoed throughout the apartment and the door slammed.

The girls ran forward. Howard and Leonard were lying sprawled on the floor, lying against the walls. Their eyes were dazed and didn't look right. "Are you okay?" both girls cried in union. "I think so," Leonard said, slowly getting to his feet, he shook slightly as he tried, but kept his balance. "What happened?" Penny asked. Leonard stared unsure, "when we gave him the action figure, for some reason it drove him mad. He was even angrier than last night; he crushed the figure between his fingers, before throwing it through his window. Literally, he broke the glass and threw it out. And then he threw us out."

Howard looked up at Bernadette, "I told you," he groaned, "I should have left." Suddenly a loud smashing noise caught there attention. It was echoing from Sheldon's room, the four of them stood there unsure, it sounded like someone was trying to break everything in there. A sudden loud bang against the door sent them all running out of the apartment. Leonard slammed the door. "He's gone insane." Penny said.

"What happened?" Bernadette asked. "We don't know." Penny replied, "Something happened between him and Amy, and we can't get hold of Amy." Bernadette paused, "should we go and see her?" She asked. "What if she's the same as he is?" Howard asked "there just as nutty as each other." Bernadette shot him a look; he cowered back, nether the less none of them moved.

* * *

Amy huddled under her blanket; she didn't dare look out from underneath. She was constantly surrounded. They all hated her, she hated her, she hated herself. Amy couldn't bring herself to cry, not any more. How much time had passed she had no idea, it felt so long. Every second felt like an hour.

She was starving; she hadn't eaten in so long. But she couldn't bring herself to get out. She knew she had to eat, but she didn't dare pull up the covers, for fear of what would happen. She lay there shaking. The voices were getting louder. She tried to listen, but she couldn't understand a single thing they were saying. It was like mumming, it was like…Hebrew?

Amy knew she couldn't look out, she couldn't. But curiosity was building through her. In the end she couldn't resist. She couldn't, she would just take one peak that was all. Just one quick look to find out what was going on around her. That was all, just one peak. How could that hurt? Slowly Amy pulled the cover back to look around. And then they grabbed her.

Amy barely had time to scream; half a dozen hands grabbed her and dragged her across the floor. Screaming all the way she was dragged down the stairs and out of the apartment. Rushing across the ground, Amy stared in shock. She was no longer in Pasadena; she was in what looked like Middle Eastern settlement, a desert of some sort. The men were all dressed in dessert robes. Amy was still screaming as they dragged her across the warm dirt. Suddenly they stopped. A tall, thin man walked up her; he had broad shoulders, but thin hips. His face was covered but Amy could have sworn she recognised him. Standing above her, she caught sight of his already bruised knuckles, seconds before they crashed into her face. Amy was knocked out cold instantly.

Amy slowly opened her eyes, she was standing up. She tried to move, only to find she was tied to a post, looking around she found she was still in the same Middle Eastern settlement, the baking son poured down on her pale skin. A large crowd surrounded her, all eyes glaring and all snarling in anger. Looking on she saw the same man who knocked her out standing at the back watching, although his face was covered he could barely look at her and it was clear he was crying. He turned away and faced the wall; even now it was clear he was still crying.

And then another figure emerged out of the crowd. A woman! A slightly short, reasonably chubby woman, with just below shoulder length mid brown hair and brown eyes with golden flakes. She had an oval shaped face, with a slight point on her chin and was wearing light brown circular glasses and red lipstick. Before her stood another Amy, only this Amy was dressed like she normally dressed.

Looking down Amy saw she was still wearing her long blue dress, with white buttons, and her two inch red heals. The other Amy stared at her disgustedly. "Please," Amy managed, "Amy, don't." She was practically begging now, no she was begging. The other Amy slowly bent down and picked up a large stone. "I hate you so much," she said coldly, Amy hung her head in shame. "Death to the Adulteress!" The alternate Amy screamed hurling the stone through the air. It smacked into Amy's face, cracking her glasses and knocking her head back into the pole, blood ran down the side of her head. Around her the crowd cheered, and then from all around her rocks started flying. And they all smashed into Amy, her blood splattered on her dress, she was screaming and begging for mercy, but that just encouraged more and more stones to fly. Two well-placed rocks shattered her knees, she collapsed onto the ground. More and more rocks were still flying. And then one clipped her straight in her forehead and it all went blank.

Amy sat up panting, she was back in her apartment, it was still night time, and she was still lying on her couch. Amy relaxed; it was just a nightmare, just a nightmare. She lay back, still panting, it was just a nightmare. And then a fist smashed into her face. Amy was knocked off the sofa and onto the floor. Looking up she saw the other Amy standing above her, glaring down at her. "You're not getting away from me that easily." She said coldly.

Amy cowered on the floor, looking up at herself standing there, so much hatred held in those brown eyes. And then the other Amy kicked her "You Selfish…" She kicked her again "…arrogant…" she stamped her foot down on Amy's chest knocking the wind out of her, "…stupid…" she kicked Amy's head, blood poured out of her nose "…treacherous…" she kicked her side, "…Lecherous…" She stamped her foot down hard on Amy's right arm, there was a cracking noise, Amy screamed, "…backstabbing…" she stamped down on Amy's left arm, breaking it as well and again Amy screamed in pain "…Whore!" She screamed. Then she dived forward at her.

Her knees smashed deep into Amy chest. Amy screamed, the wind was knocked out of her again. The other Amy shot forward, her hands wrapped around Amy's neck. Amy tried to scream, but she had no more air. "Die," the other Amy hissed coldly, "Die…Die…Die…" and around her others joined, "Die… Die…Die…" multiple voices started screaming it. Amy could feel her lungs burning, her heart racing, her vision was clouding. Looking up all she could she were other Amy's brown eyes. Staring coldly at her, as Amy watched, the brown shifted and two skulls now looked back at her. "Die!" they screamed, joining in the chanting. Amy tried to… she tried to… but that was it, looking up as everything started to go black the last thing she heard was the other Amy saying "go and ahead and Die, you filthy whore!"

Amy sat up gasping for air; once again she was back in her apartment, on her couch. She lay there, naked. Slowly she huddled up to the corner and pulled her blanket in close again, as the images rolled through her brain, Amy once again began to cry.

* * *

Penny slowly walked forward towards Sheldon's door; he had barely left his room in just over a week. He only came out for food and water, and he barely even did that, it was like he was testing the levels of human endurance. Leonard watched her from behind cautiously. He shuddered at the thoughts of what he had previously heard; every night had been the same since it first started. First there was anger, shouts and screams, and a loud beating against the wall, like someone was trying to knock it down. And then it stopped and in its place was sobbing, so much sobbing, every single night till about three in morning at which point he finally stopped. And then it would start again the next night.

Things had been quiet however for a few hours; it was almost eight o'clock now. Slowly Penny walked up. Following what happened last time, Leonard was too afraid to even go near the door. Penny was shaking slightly herself as she reached for it, the image of those burring eyes of fury still sent chills down her spine. But it was still Sheldon, and Sheldon was Sheldon, regardless of what emotional problems he was going through.

Slowly she knocked at the door, "Sheldon?" she called out, "Can I come in?" The door slowly opened and Penny stepped inside. The room was dark; the curtains weren't drawn however, casting a little light. The window was broken, the glass pane had a whole though it. The room was tip, broken action figure pieces, torn pages from both books and comic books, and small piles of ash littered the room. Sheldon's shelf's had been split in two down the middle. His wardrobe door had been ripped off its hinges. His mirror was shattered. The place looked like a bomb had gone off. And there on his bed sat Sheldon, with a knife against his throat.

Penny stared in shock. It was a long hunting knife, the sort you use to gut animal carcasses. Sheldon looked up to see her standing there. "Hello," he said calmly, his voice was softer than it had been previously and although he still talked with his rural draw, it was also higher, like his normal voice was.

Slowly he put the knife down and held it by his side. It was strange to look at him like this, he was mostly unshaven, but didn't really have a beard. He had several cuts along his neck and face, from the looks of things it was almost as if he had been shaving with his hunting knife. His hair was messy, his eyes were red and puffy, it was clear he had been crying. Looking down Penny noticed his knuckles were badly bruised, she then spotted a section of his wall, the plaster had been shattered and it looked like it had been beaten in.

Penny eyed Sheldon; it was odd to watch him sitting there. His eyes were somewhat blank and then he spoke, "you need not stand, you can sit." Unsure Penny continued to stand; Sheldon turned his head to the side so he was now looking straight at her. His gazed seemed to go right through her. Slowly Penny walked over and sat down next to Sheldon. He continued to stare at where she had been standing; it was like he hadn't noticed she had moved.

"So…" Penny began, "how are you feeling?" Sheldon didn't reply, "Are you hungry?" she asked, Sheldon didn't reply. Penny sighed and took the plunge, "Sheldon, its clear something serious has happened which has deeply affected you, and as your friends we care, so could you please tell me what happened…"

Penny was cut off; Sheldon slowly got to his feet and walked back and forth through the room. Looking at him, it appeared he hadn't heard a word she had said. He was still holding his hunting knife. Slowly he turned round to face Penny, it was strange, it was like he finally realised she was there for the first time. And then he spoke, "you know something Penny, I hate them."

Penny was taken aback, "you hate who?" she asked. "Them," Sheldon replied, it was as if he expected Penny to know at once what he was talking about. "All of them, they're everywhere," his voice was deepening, "the dirty, the fifth, the disgusting, all those who sins pile up, walking amongst us in honest clothes." His voice was getting louder. His eyes narrowed coldly.

Penny sat there staring, who was he talking about? "The tempters and seducers, who corrupt the innocent with there lies and manipulate there, lust, with their bodies and words." Penny paused unsure, was it possible he meant her? His previous words, "Most of all I'm sick of you," rang through her ears. Was it her she was talking about? "I HATE THEM." Sheldon suddenly shouted smashing his fist down on his dresser. Penny dived backwards to the front of the bed in shock. Sheldon continued to pace back and forth in front of the bed.

"All deserving to rot in their own filth, deep down in the pit, that is only fate fit for the likes of them." Sheldon carried on. Penny stared at him, shocked by his sudden mood swing. Sheldon sudden stopped walking and turned to face Penny. Slowly he leaned in. "of course…" he went on, his voice had softened, he was now staring directly at Penny. "…we have to take into account the mind set of people like this."

"Some are vindictive, some are greedy and then there are the others…" and as he said this his eyes lit up and he leaned in closer. His unblinking gaze was unsettling; it reminded Penny of videos she had seen of Charles Mason. He had the same mad look in each eye. "…The ones who used to be something but grew out of it, who grew into it, whose school life was spent experimenting with it. And now carry on this lifestyle long past their teens…" As his spoke his voice was getting more and more forceful "…and now go out of their way to tempt and seduce, who take the good and corrupt them, who crush what is good and destroy all else, I hate them, I hate them so much." He was now mere inches away from Penny's face.

The look in his eyes sent shivers down Penny's spine. Slowly he brought his hand forward still holding his hunting knife; know pointing it directly at Penny. She could not take her eyes of the long, sharp blade. Slowly he raised it, so it was now pointed at her neck. And then in practically a whisper he said, "What I would give to hear them scream as my knife slit their throats."

Penny dived backwards alarmed, "don't you come anywhere near me," she screamed. Sheldon straightened back up looking confused, "what?" he asked, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Penny the speech had left her terrified, "but don't you dare come near me, you don't need to hear me scream, I'm your friend." Penny's voice was almost broken.

Sheldon's eyes suddenly opened wide, and then they slowly narrowed. He glared at Penny, and it was then she realised she had seriously misread the conversation. "You honestly think I was going to kill you?" he said in a soft, disbelieving voice. Penny sat the huddled against the head board, "How could you think I would kill you?" he suddenly screamed, "I would never kill you, I couldn't bring myself to kill you, Never… NEVER!" Then he lunged at her. Penny dived to the floor. Sheldon's knife slashed right through his head board where Penny had been sitting moments earlier.

Penny stared at the slashed board, her face turned pale. "Get Out!" he screamed, "Get Out before I…" Penny didn't wait till hear the rest. Frantically she ran out of the room, slamming the door behind her. She ran into the living the room, straight past Leonard. She collapsed onto the sofa, panting for breath.

"What happened?" Leonard asked, shocked by the shouting. "I misunderstood what we were talking about," Penny gasped, "I thought he was planning to kill me. When he found out, he went insane, you should have seen him, he was as cold as a dungeon and merely the look in his eyes was enough to scare the living day likes out of you. He's gotten worse, much much worse. He's now somewhere between Jack Torrance and Dr Lecture."

Leonard stared at Penny, "what?" he asked shocked "what happened?" Penny paused, "At first he didn't seem to notice I was with him, and then he did, and he started talking about some type of person he hated for some reason, and from his comments I thought he meant he hated me. I seriously thought he was going to try and kill me, and when he found out that's what I though, it drove him insane. He's cracked."

Leonard continued to stare in disbelief, "you really thought he was going to try and kill you?" he asked, "Sheldon was going to try and kill you?" Penny slowly nodded, "what happened to him?" Leonard asked shocked. "I have no idea," Penny said, "I tried to get him to talk, before things went out of control, but he just ignored me, so either he doesn't want to talk about it or he wasn't paying attention when I asked him."

Leonard stood there worried, what could they do? Sheldon seemed to have gone well over the edge. "At this rate where going to have to inform the authorities and have them take him away." Leonard said remorsefully. Penny stood there, "okay," she said still worried. "Has it really gone that far?" Leonard asked. Despite not making a decision he took his phone out of his pocket, he held it out in his hand. "I'm not sure," he said, "You're his best friend, you have to make the choice" Penny said, "And I'm telling you he's completely gone off the deep end." Leonard paused; still unsure he held the phone in his hand. Suddenly a knife shot through the air, there was a crashing noise and Leonard's phone was knocked out his hand. They both turned and there it was, against the wall, with a long hunting knife stabbed into it. Slowly their eyes turned and standing in the doorway, his face like thunder, his teeth bared was Sheldon.

Leonard backed away; the look in Sheldon's eyes was terrifying. "Send for someone to take me away?" he whispered, "now Sheldon…" Leonard began, "AWAY?" He screamed suddenly. Leonard was almost knocked backwards by the force of his voice. Sheldon charged at Leonard. He grabbed hi, by the collar and pulled him in close, lifting him slightly into the air so now the two where closer to eye level. "Away?" he asked again, this time in a much softer voice, looking at Leonard his burning eyes had disappeared, only sorrow and pain shone through them now.

Leonard tried to speak, but the moment he moved his lips, the anger returned. Snarling Sheldon spoke "I was angry with my friend:" he said, "I told him my wrath, my wrath did end." And with that he threw Leonard backwards onto the floor. He landed and just lay there unmoving. "Leonard!" Penny screamed, she charged forward startling Sheldon she brought her fist straight into his face. He was knocked slightly to the side.

Penny bent down, but Leonard just pointed behind her. Turning she saw Sheldon slowing rising up in front of her. Slowly Penny craned her head up till she could see his eyes. They were now burning with white hot intensity. It was only at this point that Penny realised just how much taller than her, Sheldon really was. Standing in front of him she felt tiny. She stared wide eyes "Oh cr…" she didn't get to finish.

Penny went flying backwards across the room and collapsed on top of the coffee table. Sheldon stood there still snarling "I was Angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow." He said coldly. Penny held the side of her head, she was disoriented. Sheldon charged forward. Penny quickly dived off the table just as his fist shot down, smashing into the table. She looked up at him from where she was crouching on floor.

As her vision cleared the true horror revealed itself. Sheldon looked every bit the psychopath, his eyes were burning, his nostrils flaring, his teeth bared, she could practically see his blood vessels popping. Looking at him, Penny forgot that she was Penny and this was Sheldon. She forgot she was a street smart, strong woman who could look out for herself, and he was a scrawny nerd and coward to boot. All she saw was a huge man standing over a much smaller woman.

Sheldon let out another scream. He kicked the coffee table into the sofa. Penny jumped to her feet and backed away, scrabbling against the wall. Sheldon seeing this ran at the wall. Grabbing the sword that hung next to the door, he hurled it across the room. It smashed into the kitchen. Penny ran past him and dived behind the sofa. Sheldon swung his arm, knocking every item off the shelves. Penny huddled there watching him. Sheldon looked down at her. His ice cold eyes burning with passion. They cut right through Penny. She couldn't move merely watch.

And then he turned away, snarling he went for the armchair, he tipped it over and violently kicked it, "And I watered it with my fears." Sheldon shouted as he continued to kick the chair. Penny slowly looked up from the sofa; he was now over in the kitchen, savagely pulling out the contents of the cupboards. Tossing the crockery and the glass behind him where they shattered on the floor. He wasn't after her; it was like he was lashing out at everything he saw, smashing and breaking it, trying to get the rage out of his system.

Holding up a chopping board, he strained pushing it until it snapped in two then tossed the broken wood behind him. Penny sunk down; if she stayed here she should be safe. "Night and Morning with my tears;" Sheldon continued, his shouts were getting softer now, but they were still shouts. What he meant was beyond Penny, it sounded like some sort of riddle. And then her thoughts focused on Leonard. Turning she saw him, still lying on the ground where Sheldon had thrown him. She couldn't leave him out there, not with Sheldon on a destroy all melt done.

She rose up. A lose mug smashed next to her head. Penny dived down again. He may not be targeting her, but that didn't exclude her. Penny paused. She had to do this, she had to. She ran forward. Grabbed Leonard and helped him to his feet. Leonard was dazed and had clearly had had the wind knocked out of him. Penny guided him back behind the sofa. Turning her eyes opened wide.

Sheldon stood there facing them, holding the TV above his head. "And I sunned it with my smiles and with soft deceitful wiles." He said coldly. Penny pulled Leonard down, just as Sheldon hurled the Television. It smashed into the wall, shattering into dozens of pieces. The broken box hit the ground right next to them. Together they huddled together in the corner. As Sheldon continued his rampage. "And it grew both day and night." He screamed, carrying on the rhyme.

Penny pulled Leonard closer; Sheldon's voice was getting louder again "Till it bore an apple bright." There was a pause and then a great crash followed. Neither of them dared look. "And my foe beheld it shine. And he knew that it was mine." Sheldon said now in a softer voice. There was another crashing noise and then several other clattering sounds after that, "And in my garden stole When the night had veiled the pole." There was a final crash and then silence.

After several minutes, slowly Leonard and Penny stretched their heads over the sofa. The room was wrecked; it was like Sheldon had tried to rip everything to pieces. His laptop lay on the floor, the monitor ripped from base. Several knives were stuck in the counter. Piles upon piles of broken glass and crockery lay on the floor. The DVD collection had been thrown down; most of the disks were smashed. In the centre of it all sat Sheldon, now crying.

As they watched he spoke one final time "In the morning glad I see My foe outstretched beneath the tree." And with that he hung his head and continued to cry. Not waiting twice the two of them raced out of the apartment and slammed the door. They ran across the hall, Penny fumbled with the keys before opening the door, they then ran into Penny's apartment. Neither could speak, they just collapsed onto the sofa, trying to understand what they had just seen.

"He is insane." Leonard finally managed. Penny nodded. "But that's not all he is." he continued. Penny turned to face him a bit surprised, "when he held me close, I saw his eyes, he's hurting, he's really hurting, more than I imagined. Whatever happened, it hurt him really badly and I'm willing to bet that's what caused his anger." "But what did happen?" Penny asked unsure. "Well there's only one other person who knows that." Leonard replied.

Penny got to her feet, "your right," she said, "I'll get Bernadette and then were visit Amy; this has gone too far we have to find out what is going on." Leonard paused, "do you mind if I stay her tonight?" he asked, not wanting to go back while Sheldon was this unstable. "Sure," Penny replied, "You can stay her until this whole thing is worked out." Leonard smiled. Penny grabbed her purse and walked off. As she passed Sheldon's apartment, she paused, she could hear him in there, still crying. "What is the matter with you, you wackado?" Penny asked in a worried voice, before turning and walking down the stairs.

* * *

Amy lay there on her sofa. A whole week and she had barely left. Everywhere she went; she was screamed and shouted at. And mocked and insulted. She had cried so much that she was shocked she hadn't died of thirst. But it made no difference. She hadn't slept properly in so long. She was terrified if she fell asleep she would die. Her nightmares would kill her.

So she just nuzzled there. Her home had become her prison. She dared not leave or move or even make a sound for fear that she would wake them. She knew they were watching her, they were always watching her, waiting for her in the blackness. Waiting to ridicule and shame her. And the worst part was everything they said was true. Amy held her head in her hands, she was so ashamed, how could she have done what she did? She was pathetic, that was all she was, nothing but a pathetic jerk who had betrayed the one she loved, purely out of lust. And here she lay alone, naked, afraid, not worth the attention of anyone.

And then she suddenly realised she was not alone. Slowly she looked up, Penny and Bernadette were glaring down at her. She stared at shock at her friends standing before her. "You're not real." Amy managed. "Typical," Penny sneered, "you know something Amy? You're right you are pathetic." Amy gulped, "a pathetic weakling, who had the audacity to call me a slut, compared to you I'm a maiden of virtue." Amy hung her head, she couldn't take this. It was too much it was just too much. She already hated herself she couldn't take then hating her as well.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you," Penny snapped coldly, "no," Amy said meekly, "Look at me." Penny shouted, "I don't want to," Amy sobbed. "Look at me or I'll smash your oversized head against that table till your dirty mind spills out of your ears." Penny screamed. Still sobbing, Amy slowly raised her head. The second she finished, Penny slapped her.

Amy felt no blow, but she was still knocked onto the floor. Her head collided with her coffee table, there was a loud smack and she fell backwards in pain. She looked up, sprawling on the ground as the two of them glared down at her. She felt so tiny before them. "You're a sinner Amy," Bernadette said angrily, "and your burn! Your burn for what you've done, your burn." Amy sobbed, she didn't dare move. "Lye there," Penny snarled, "Lye there maggot, lye like the whore you are. If you move I swear to god I'll…" Amy continued to cry.

The two girls shrugged. "Come on let's go," Penny said, "I hate being in the company of dogs." And with that they turned to leave. Amy just lay there still terrified still sobbing, as they vanished, Amy heard there last words, "To think we once called her are friend, I need a wash just for thinking about it." Penny said, "She will suffer for what she's done," Bernadette said coldly, "just like all the other adulteresses she will suffer…she will suffer."

And once again, Amy was alone. She lay there on the floor. She couldn't bring herself to move. Still crying she lay there. Bernadette's words echoed through her head and her mind to turned to one place. "Through me you pass into the city of woe: Through me you pass into eternal pain: Through me among the people lost for aye. Justice the founder of my fabric moved: To rear me was the task of power divine, Supremest wisdom, and primeval love. Before me things create were none, save things Eternal, and eternal I shall endure. All hope abandon, ye who enter here." Amy muttered to herself sadly.

She paused unsure before adding "Into the eternal darkness, into fire and into ice." And with that she just huddled up and continued to cry. A sudden knocking grabbed her attention. Amy jumped to her feet, who was that at her door? "Amy," a familiar voice called, "Amy? It's me Penny, are you there?" Amy's eyes opened wide. Again the knocking rang out, "Amy? Amy? Can you open the door? Bernadette's here to."

"No," she whispered to herself, "not again, I couldn't take it, please not again." Sobbing she huddled behind the sofa her head in her hands. "Please," she sobbed, "please, let me be, I know what I've done and I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" She just sat there still sobbing, repeating over and over again "I'm sorry," in the same broken whisper of a voice.

* * *

Penny turned to Bernadette, "she must not be in?" She said, "Try calling her." Bernadette suggested. Penny dialled and the phone rang out, "she's left her phone in her apartment." Penny said surprised, "where could she be?" Bernadette asked. Penny shrugged, turning the two women walked off in defeat.

* * *

Sheldon walked down the streets, he leaned forward unsure. It was late afternoon and there was no one else about. This was the first time he had been outside in over a week. He had to leave, he had to get out. He looked back behind him, he wasn't being followed. Leonard hadn't been home in three days now. His apartment was silent. He had just been sitting there, when the urge had forced him out. He couldn't stay, nothing had changed; it was all repetitive, all of it, repetitive and painful. Were there no answers in this accursed universe?

As he walked along, his head hung low he suddenly heard someone calling out his name. "Sheldon," a cheerful voice called. Sheldon was in no mood for company. He carried on walking. "Sheldon," the voice called again and then running up beside him was a familiar man. It was Kurt, Penny's ex-boyfriend, and Sheldon's seldom seen, muscular friend with the IQ of a goldfish.

"Sheldon," he said a final time. Faced with no other alternative he turned to face Kurt. "Hello Kurt," he said solemnly. "Hi Sheldon," Kurt smiled, "it's been a while since I've seen you, how are things." When he caught sight of Sheldon's expression, he realised something was wrong. "What's the matter?" he asked concerned. Sheldon looked up at him, as he did a single tear ran down his face. "It's complicated." He said solemnly.

Kurt gulped, he knew something else was different with Sheldon, but he could figure out what. Shrugging he brushed it off, it probably nothing important. "Do you want to talk about it?" Kurt asked. Sheldon shook his head. "Well can you tell me what it is basically?" he asked, not wanting further questions, Sheldon simply answered, "relationship problems," he muttered. "I see," Kurt replied. "As in girl problems?" he asked. Sheldon nodded solemnly. Kurt paused for a moment to think and then an idea hit him. "Come on," he said, he led Sheldon down the road, "where are we going?" Sheldon asked apathetically. "The one place that guys can go to make themselves feel better during this particular crisis." Kurt replied.

And with that he led Sheldon off.

* * *

**Well didn't I tell you there would be a few shocks in this story? I hope you enjoyed, and didn't mind my use of classic poetry to convey Sheldon and Amy's moods (For those interested, the extracts are taken from "The Second Coming" By W.B Yeats, "Dante's Inferno" Canto 3 and 5, respectively and Blake's "The Poison Tree") I just felt it was appropriate as there both highly educated people.**

**To the person who brought it up, I am aware that in reality prostitution is illegal in California, but I had to bend that make the story work. If you can't bend your suspension of disbelief that far, I recommend you interpret it as the guy (who is clearly not the most honest or moral in the world) was simply lying and Amy was to drunk by that point to realise.**

**I'll will upload the third (and probably last) chapter in a few days.**

**Please review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Is This The End?**

**A/N: Okay here it is the final chapter. Now I know some people want me to write more chapters, as there enjoying this story and want to see it fulfilled properly. Your probably right and I would, but the thing is I don't think I could write any more chapters to this story without the quality substantially declining, this one alone was very hard to write and its not particularly good, I'm sorry. I think I set a to high tone and mood with the last Chapter, one which proved incredibly difficult to follow. As such I'm afraid this is the end. As I said, its not the best chapter and I don't think it follows the last one's feeling particularly well (feel free to disagree though). Still I hope your find some parts your enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter Three: From Sadness and Fear, Doth the Phoenix Fly…

Kurt slowly led Sheldon towards the building. Sheldon didn't really care where he was lea, he wasn't paying attention. His thoughts were on other things, most of them guilt. "Here we are," Kurt said. Sheldon casually looked up; they were standing in front of a gym. Sheldon didn't speak. "Well aren't you coming?"

Sheldon sighed, "Why should I?" he asked, "Trust me Sheldon," Kurt said, "When you're hung up on girl problems, nothing makes you feel better than a few sessions at the gym." "I don't know if that's translatable." Sheldon said his voice was more apathetic than annoyed. "Okay," Kurt said, "what do you normally when you're feeling like this." Sheldon paused, "I normally relax with my favourite things, comic books, Star Trek DVD's and the such."

"So why aren't you?" Kurt asked, there was a pause. "because none of its working." Sheldon suddenly shouted, "None of it." Kurt jumped back; he had never seen Sheldon have such a reaction before. Slowly he approached, "so why not try it my way?" Kurt asked, watching Sheldon closely, he seemed to have returned his previous mood. Sheldon paused unsure, considering the premise, before finally saying "What have I got to lose?" And with that the two of them walked in.

Sheldon looked around the gym, it was set out the way you would expect it to be, complete with weight machines, exercise bikes, punching bags, weights and all sorts of other exercise equipment. Multiple muscular men were already using the vast facilities. For a moment curiosity overpowered his apathy, he had never been in a gym in his whole life. But the feeling was quickly squashed.

"I'm not exactly fit," Sheldon said turning to Kurt, "And I don't particularly enjoy exercise, so how does this actually help me?" "Well, you sort of channel all your negative emotions into the work out, that way you get a positive way to work them out." Sheldon didn't reply. Kurt however took this as him simply agreeing with him. The fact he was able to make his genius friend feel better made Kurt feel good, he smiled "so what do you want to start with?" he asked. "You chose." Sheldon said uncaringly. "How about bench pressing, and work on your upper body strength?" Kurt suggested.

Sheldon shrugged, his mind was still in other places. After stretching he laid down on the bench. Kurt, acting as his spotter, he handed Sheldon the weight. Slowly Sheldon lowered it to his chest, before lifting it up and holding it there. He then placed it back on the stand, "how much does that weigh?" he asked, for the first time paying attention to what was happening. "Fifty pounds," Kurt replied. Sheldon stared at him, "I lift more than that, put more weight on."

"Sheldon, I don't…" Kurt began, "if I have to be here, I might has well get some actual exercise done, so put some more weight on." Sheldon interrupted. Uncertainly, Kurt added some more weight to the bar. "How much is that?" Sheldon asked, "one hundred pounds." Kurt replied. Sheldon took the weight and began pushing it up and down several times. This was clearly harder, but he still carried it off okay. "More," Sheldon said calmly.

Kurt was getting worried, Sheldon was a thin man, but he had managed a hundred without too much trouble, so he added another two more weights to the bar. Sheldon tried to move it, but this time he was straining, struggling he managed to get it up three times. Before practically dropping it on top of himself. Kurt carefully held it above Sheldon's chest. Sheldon looked at weight, he couldn't lift it, he had failed to continue to lift it, he had failed…again.

Snarling Sheldon suddenly grasped the weight and raised it as far as he could go. Straining he held it there; Kurt was surprised by this sudden change, but kept his hands on the weight. Sheldon then began rigorously dropping it and pushing back up. Kurt watched shocked, Sheldon's eyes were burning, but this time only with an orange flame. He kept going, trying to get faster and faster. His arms were straining, his blood vessels were popping he couldn't keep this up, but he showed no signs of slowing.

Shocked Kurt pulled weight out of his hands, and put it back on the stand. Sheldon sat up suddenly, he shook as nausea hit him, he was sweating and breathing heavily, "You've got to slow down," Kurt said, "your pull a tendon or worse if you jump ahead to far." Sheldon didn't seem to be paying attention, he just stared at the weight; it was an odd gaze, not only sad, but also almost longing.

Behind them two other men came walking up, one tall, one smaller and stockier with tanned skin "hey Kurt," the tanned men called, spotting Sheldon he added, "whose the nerd." Sheldon didn't respond he just sat there still looking. "Back off Jack," Kurt said, "His names Sheldon, he's a friend of mine and he's a genius." Jack looked at Sheldon, "he still sounds like a nerd," he said, "maybe," Kurt replied, "then he's a nerd, who earns more in a day then you do in a decade."

Jack shrugged, "what's wrong with him?" the other guy asked, "He keeps staring at that weight." "He's going through problems in his relationship, Harry." Kurt replied "and it's affecting him quite badly, that's why he's here". "Oh, I'm sorry," Harry said, he continued to watch Sheldon. It took a while before Sheldon seemed to grasp that people were watching him. Slowly he turned to face the other two men. "Sheldon, this Jack and Harry, there friends of mine." Kurt said. Sheldon didn't reply.

"Not very talkative is he," Jack said. "He normally is," Kurt replied. Unsure he went back to helping Sheldon with the weights. Although they didn't meet very often, Kurt could still see the differences and it surprised him just how different Sheldon seemed, he was mostly silent, seemed distant and didn't seem to care. Every so often though he would suddenly switch and seem unnaturally determined, immediately after he started to encounter problems with what he was doing, and then Kurt had to pull him away from whatever he was doing before he hurt himself, at one point he almost pounded the punching bag till his wrist snapped. What was going on Kurt had no idea.

After two hours he decided to call it a day. "So how do you feel?" he asked, Sheldon looked up "tired," he replied. "Well this is your first time, you're bound to feel tired. After doing all that you should tired, do you feel anything else?" Kurt asked. Sheldon shrugged, "different," he replied, "good different or bad different?" Kurt asked, "Just different," Sheldon replied. Kurt continued to watch his friend with uncertainty. He hoped his efforts had helped.

Sheldon paused and turned to go, "I'll see you around." Kurt said, Sheldon didn't reply he just walked off. Kurt stood there unsure, before deciding to leave himself. After getting home, he was making himself dinner when the phone rang, "Hello" he said, "Hello Kurt," Sheldon said from the other side. "Hello Sheldon," Kurt said happy to hear his friends voice again. "Kurt," Sheldon said, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you a favour, do you mind meeting me at the gym again tomorrow?" "Of course not," Kurt replied, "how's six O'clock?" Sheldon asked, "Fine." Kurt replied. "Okay bye," Sheldon replied. Kurt smiled; evidently his actions had helped his friend.

* * *

Slowly Leonard walked out Penny's apartment; it had been six days now since Sheldon's meltdown. Since then the two of them hadn't seen or spoken to each other. It had been long enough; calmly he walked up to the front door. He hesitated before knocking it, the look in Sheldon's eyes that night, just before he had thrown him across the room, had given him nightmares, what could cause a person that much pain? Regardless, Sheldon was his friend and that was all that mattered. And with that he knocked on the door.

There was silence and then the door opened. Sheldon stood there. His hair was scruffy, his shirt was dirty and he clearly needed a shave. However upon seeing Leonard, he briefly smiled, it literally lasted a second, before he returned to his normal apathetic look. "Hello Leonard," he said calmly. "Hello Sheldon, do you mind if I come in?" Leonard replied. "Of course, it's your apartment to." Sheldon said.

He calmly walked away from the door, before collapsing back onto his spot. Looking around Leonard was shocked; all the damage from the meltdown had vanished. All the mess had been cleaned up, everything was back in its original place and the room looked exactly like it had before the event. It was almost as if the rampage had been erased from history, everything broken had been replaced or repaired.

Walking over to the kitchen Leonard opened a cupboard, all the broken crockery had been replaced and all the glasses were back. Turning back he once again had to take it in, everything had been replaced even the chips in the paint were gone. "You've been busy," Leonard mummed. "Not really," Sheldon replied.

Leonard turned back to face him, seeing Sheldon sitting there in his spot watching TV, in there fixed apparent, Leonard suddenly felt hopeful maybe Sheldon had managed to recover from whatever had happened to him. Sheldon was even watching Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan on the TV. It was only when he saw his face that Leonard realised something was still wrong. The film was just starting, but Sheldon clearly wasn't interested, reaching for the remote he turned the TV off.

"How are you feeling?" Leonard asked. Sheldon shrugged, "different," he said, "just different." And with that he got to his feet and walked over to the door, "where are you going?" Leonard asked. "The gym, Kurt will be waiting." Sheldon replied. "But you don't go to the gym," Leonard replied, taken aback by this statement. "I do now." Sheldon replied. He sounded almost sad, but with that he walked off.

Left alone, after thinking over this sudden knew information and wondering how long Sheldon had been going with Kurt. Leonard decided to examine the rest of the apartment. His room was the same as he left it, likewise the bathroom hadn't changed. Eventually reaching his final target, Leonard walked into Sheldon's room. He was again surprised by what he saw; the room was repaired, but not everything had been replaced. His mirror was replaced, his door had been reattached, his shelves had been fixed, and the broken window pane had been replaced. The mess was gone from the floor, but nothing had been replaced, his shelves were empty, his cupboard was almost empty, so much of his stuff was missing. He hadn't replaced his action figures or his comics or most of his stuff. He had only replaced his room. Walking back into the living room Leonard was left thinking about what do, he decided to go see Penny, as Sheldon had clearly not gotten any better.

* * *

Sheldon sat down for a moment; this was the fifth day in a row that he had come to this gym. He spent two hours here then he went home. Kurt had managed to make it, as he went practically every day. They were just finishing their workouts, Jack and Harry casually walked over to them. "You still coming?" Jack asked, Sheldon didn't reply, "why doesn't he talk?" Jack asked, "He does," Kurt replied, "I just don't think he wants to now, he prefers to stay in his thoughts."

Jack rolled his eyes, "all this over girl trouble, how could it happen?" he asked, "I mean I've had my fair share, my girlfriend kicked me out last week." "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Why?" Kurt asked, "Well it went like this, it was the same night I had bowling and just as I was going out, she sprung on me that she had booked us a reservation at a fancy restaurant. I of course couldn't go, as I promised the team I would be there for the competition. She never told me about this before or nothing and I made it very clear to her that it was the big competition tonight, I had all week. And then she still gets angry at me. Claiming I value bowling over her."

Jack sighed, "Well I was feeling a bit guilty, so I booked us another reservation at this restaurant, and then on the night, it turns out she and her friends have a girl's night planned and she can't make it. She never told me about this or anything you understand. And then gets angry at me for booking it on the same night and tells me I have no right to determine what she does, then she kicks me out when I point out the double standard. And it's my apartment and all."

Kurt shook his head, "that's brutal," he muttered, "yeah, well I'll buy her something nice and tell I'm sorry tomorrow, I'm sure by then she'll have cooled down and be ready to forgive me. What about you Kurt?" "Oh, I'm not dating anyone at the moment," Kurt replied, "my last break up didn't go to well, she left me for my own brother." The guys shook there head, "How are things with you and the Mrs, Harry?" Kurt asked

"Not bad," Harry replied, "we did get into an argument last week though over the fact, that she didn't tell me she had taken five hundred dollars from are joint account. Still it's all sorted now." He paused, and then absentmindedly asked "what about you Sheldon, how are things between you and your girlfriend?"

Kurt stared at Harry in shock. For the first time in the whole conversation, Sheldon looked up, "what did you say?" he asked coldly. Catching on Harry didn't reply, but Jack had other ideas, "come on Sheldon," he said, "we've told you all are secrets, what happened between you and your girlfriend? What caused you all these problems? Did she use your microscope without telling you?" He chuckled. Sheldon's fists clenched. "Calm down mate," Kurt said, "he's just joking around, you don't have to tell us."

"Thank you," Sheldon said, "because I don't want to talk about it." "Why what did you do? Have it off with your assistant on the labs floor and she found out?" Jack joked. Sheldon stared at him, a fire burning in his eyes. "No," Sheldon said coldly, "I did not do that, I didn't do anything?" he shouted the last bit. Jack stared him in shock. Eyes turned to face them, but Sheldon didn't care. "If you must know what happened." Sheldon snarled, his voice getting deeper. "My girlfriend was unsatisfied because I refused to ever sleep with her, so she hired someone to do it with her behind my back and I caught them in the act!" The second he said those words, his rage evaporated and his eyes watered. He collapsed back into the chair and began to cry.

Eyes stared, mouths hung open. "Oh my god," Kurt mummed to himself. Jack just stared in shock, "That bitch." He mummed. Sheldon suddenly dived forward knocking Jack into the wall. He held him there his hands clasped round Jack throat. Although shorter than Sheldon, Jack was a lot stronger and bulkier. However the look in Sheldon's eyes put the fear of God himself through the man. It was like looking into a fiery pit, which at the same time was full of sharpened ice, each piece pointing straight at him. "Don't you ever call Amy a bitch!" Sheldon snarled slowly in a low voice that sounded almost inhuman. "If you ever do it again, I swear I will Murder You!"

Jack was shaking like a child; at this point he honestly believed that Sheldon would kill him, everyone who got hear him say that would believe he would kill him. "It's okay, mate." Kurt said worriedly, he put his hand on Sheldon's shoulder. Sheldon let go of Jack and brushed Kurt off. His anger subsidising he started to cry again, and with that he walked out of the room. Eyes upon eyes watched him in shock and horror.

Kurt turned to Jack, he was still shaking "Happy now?" Kurt asked. The man hung his head. "I'm sorry," he said, "I had no idea. How could I?" Kurt shook his head, "well, maybe you should think a bit more about what you say in the future." Jack nodded, Kurt turned to leave, but then Harry spoke, "here Kurt before you go, as you're the smartest of us, why did your friend refuse to sleep with girlfriend?"

Kurt paused, he honestly didn't know, no one had ever brought up Sheldon's feel of germs. However using the small amounts of knowledge he knew, he started to think, finally he came to an answer, one so reasonable he felt sure it was correct. "Well he's a southerner." Kurt replied, "And as you know there quite religious down that part of America, and under their beliefs sexual relationships are only allowed for the married. So he's simply waiting as accustom to his beliefs."

Harry shook his head, "impressive," he muttered, "what a guy. Resisting all that just to follow what he believes in." He shook his head again, "I always thought I would do that, and then came that night when I was seventeen, that I got Anna Clover to come over…" Not interested and more worried about his friend Kurt walked off. He found Sheldon standing outside the building. He wasn't crying any longer, just looking up at the sky. "How are you feeling?" he asked, Sheldon turned to face him, but he didn't speak, then he just turned and walked off. "I'll see you tomorrow then," Kurt shouted after him, Sheldon didn't reply.

* * *

Never the less, Kurt did see him the next day, and the day after that and so on. That week Sheldon went back to work. He had previously been off, under claim of needing time off to recover from emotional trauma. Leonard also moved back in with him, he had been perfectly happy to stay with Penny, but not wanting to anger her by taking advantage of her hospitality, he had left as soon as Sheldon seemed stable. But he wasn't, everyone around could see he wasn't.

He no longer spoke so often and when he spoke, he was always blunt and quick to the point, no more use of complex versions of words, no long lectures on obscure and unimportant topics; his native accent seemed here to stay. He now ate alone, when he ate at all. After work he always left to go the Gym and then he came home and after that he would just go into his room till it was time for him to come out the next morning. Leonard still heard him crying during the night, not every night now, but still more than was healthy. He no longer joined in the guy's activities, nor did he comment on them; he was in all senses a very different person.

A week went by, but nothing seemed to change, and then another week went by. Following his previous reaction, everyone was afraid to try and talk to him about it. Penny and Bernadette went round to Amy's many times, but every time they got there no one answered the door. They tried to visit Amy at work only to find she had turned up in weeks. Eventually, almost a month after the original incident had taken place, they decided enough was enough.

So when Sheldon walked into his apartment that night following coming back from the Gym, he found everyone sitting his apartment waiting for him. "Hi Sheldon," Leonard said cautiously, "Hello Leonard," he said calmly, before turning to go his room. "Wait, wait, Sheldon we need to talk." Sheldon sighed and turned back to face them. "No we don't," he replied. "Yes we do." Bernadette said, "Sheldon we care about you, and we just want to talk."

Sheldon sighed, "Fine," he said miserably, before walking over to the coach and collapsing into his spot. "Sheldon, I think we need to talk about what happened between…." Penny began, but Sheldon cut her off "I don't want to talk about it." He said calmly, "but Sheldon…" Penny tried again, "I don't want to talk about it." Sheldon said more aggressively, this time his eyes started to water. Realising she was tripping a nerve Penny backed off.

Leonard paused, "well how are you feeling." Sheldon looked at him, "Apathetic," he replied, but his voice was sad. "Are you sure?" Penny asked, "Positive that is what I said." Sheldon replied, his eyes were no longer looking at anyone, instead they seemed… glazed. "So…" Penny began, "I've already said I don't want to talk about it." Sheldon replied.

"Okay buddy, what do you want to talk about?" Leonard asked, Sheldon looked towards him, "guilt, depression, misery, self-hatred, pain, no I think I'm good thank you." Leonard stared a Sheldon surprised by this obscure answer. "That isn't what I asked," he said, "no I'm fine," Sheldon replied, "after all, why should finding out your failure, hurt?"

Everyone stared at him, Sheldon's eyes were distant. "What he talking about?" Howard asked, Leonard waved his hand in front of Sheldon's face, Sheldon turned to face him "yes?" he asked. "Are you okay?" Leonard asked surprised, "No," Sheldon replied, "I wouldn't say that, I think it's been simmering for a long time." "What is he talking about?" Howard asked again.

Leonard watched Sheldon he had returned to his blank stare, his eyes looked almost empty, empty save sadness, "what's wrong with him?" Penny asked. "I think he's delusional," Raj said, "No, he's not delusional, he's hearing what he doesn't want to hear," Bernadette said. Everyone turned to face her. "You know, when you need to talk about something but don't want to and supress it, somehow everything you encounter seems to remind you of what you don't want to talk about, and it continues on till you can't stand it any longer? It seems he's going through a very extreme form of this, he's literary hearing the conversation he needs to hear, not the conversation that is being said."

"So he's insane?" Raj asked, Sheldon turned to face him, "possibly," he said sadly, "that's entirely possible dear friend." Raj stared "Did he hear me?" he asked shocked, "maybe," Bernadette said, "but if I'm right he will answer to the questions he needs to hear regardless of what we say." "Or he's just insane," Howard muttered. Bernadette shot him another look. Everyone turned back to Sheldon.

"Okay Sheldon," Penny said "We need to talk, clearly this has deeply affected you and as your friends we want to help you. So tell us something." Sheldon didn't reply, his expression had changed he now looked sad, very sad. "Sheldon?" Penny asked. "Sheldon." He didn't reply, rather he just sat there silently.

"What's happened?" Leonard asked, "Well if he's hearing the conversation he needs to hear, maybe he heard something which was particularly painful?" Bernadette suggested. "Yes," Sheldon replied, "your right, that is exactly it and that's exactly what happened." They turned to face him, he was now on the brink of tears. "Why?" he asked sadly, "why? What did I do? What did I do wrong?" he was practically whispering, his voice sounded broken.

The others sat there in silence, "Of course," he said sadly, "of course I hate it, I hate going, I hate being there, I hate it all, I hate everything that led to this and the worst part I can't enjoy what I love anymore, because every time I try, all I can think about is what happened." "Hate it?" Leonard asked. "If you hate it, why do you keep going?" he didn't know what Sheldon was talking about, but this seemed to work best when they played along with what he was talking about.

Sheldon turned to face him and for a moment his eyes seemed to focus, on the brink of tears he said, "Because it's the only thing I've found so far that calms the anger." The was a pause, "I hate it, I hate the anger, it makes me act in a way I don't want, it makes me be someone I don't to be, it makes me hurt..." He just stopped there and hung his head.

"Sheldon," Penny said calmly, "why are you angry?" he didn't reply, "Okay, who are you angry with?" she asked. Suddenly he got his feet, "who?" he asked, "who? Who Am I? Who? I? I? I!" he shook his head, his vision was now clear again and with that he walked off. Still muttering to himself. He stopped suddenly and turned, "your right," he said solemnly, "your right, you are right." He turned back, now almost crying and walked back to his room.

The others turned to face each other, "well that accomplished nothing." Howard said miserably. "Okay, this has gone on too long; we need to put a stop to this," Penny said, "how?" Leonard asked, "we can't talk to him about it or else he will refuse to answer, fly into a homicidal rage or will literary hear a different conversation. And if we can't talk to him, we can't find out what's wrong with him, and as we don't know what happened, we can't help him get better."

"Well if he won't talk, then we need to talk to the only other person who knows," Howard said. "We've tried that, and we just can't find her." Bernadette replied. "Well, we'll have to try again," Penny said, "if only we could get into her apartment, even if she wasn't there, it would give us some idea of where she has gone."

"Why not use the key," Raj asked. All eyes turned to him, "what key?" Penny asked, "The one Amy gave Sheldon, because she was sick of him simply picking her lock when he wanted to go in and wait for her." All eyes stared at him. "How do you know that?" Leonard asked "he told me," Raj replied. "Why didn't you tell us this earlier?" Penny asked, "Well it didn't come up." Raj replied casually.

Well where is the key?" Penny shouted, "Sheldon has it." Raj replied. All eyes turned to the hallway and silence fell. "So we just go in there and get it?" Howard asked, "Do you want to go in there?" Penny asked "because I sure don't, last time I went in there, I ended up thinking he was going to kill me and then later caused him to nearly kill me."

"I'll go," Leonard said unsure, "he's my best friend, he won't mind if I do it." Calmly he walked down the hall and knocked on Sheldon's door. "Sheldon?" he called out uncertainly "can I come in?" no one responded. Reaching for the handle he opened the door. The room was dark, on his bed sat Sheldon, he was just staring out the window.

"Do you mind if I borrow something?" Leonard asked, Sheldon didn't reply he was just staring at the sky. Seeing the key on his desk, Leonard reached over and grabbed it. He turned to leave when Sheldon spoke, "Thank you Leonard," he said calmly. "Thank you?" Leonard asked confused. He turned back to Sheldon, he was still looking out, "you were right," he said solemnly, "all this time I've been looking for answers, but I never found any because I was asking the wrong questions, thank you, all of you." Leonard waited for Sheldon to speak again, but he remained silent, so Leonard just left.

* * *

Returning to the room, he gave Penny the key. She and Bernadette left, leaving the guys with Sheldon. They soon arrived at Amy's apartment. Taking the key, Penny opened the door. The room was dark, very dark. "Hello?" Penny called. No one replied. Slowly the two girls walked in, the floor was covered in multiple pieces of paper and other miscellaneous items. Bernadette fumbled for the light switch. When a voice called out. "No, No, I'm sorry I really am, I'm sorry. Please don't, please!" And then sobbing repeated, "I'm sorry."

"Amy," Penny shouted. The lights flicked on, the room was even more of a mess than expected, multiple items and knick knacks had been knocked onto the floor, empty food cartons and packaging were stood across the kitchen. Amy's harp was knocked over, all the doors were closed, dust laid around the entire room and there huddled on the floor before them was Amy. She was completely naked, had her head hung in her hands and she was crying.

"Amy!" Penny screamed. Slowly Amy looked up, she blinked somewhat as her eyes adjusted to the light. Upon seeing the two of them she jumped backwards in shock, "no, not again, please not again," she screamed, "what, Amy it's me?" Penny asked shocked at this reaction, she walked after her. Amy began to crawl backwards, upon hitting the wall she huddled up against it, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she sobbed, "please don't hit me again. I'm sorry." "What? Penny exclaimed shocked, "I'm not going to hit you."

Amy Looked up, "you're not?" she asked timidly, "no," Penny said, "I would never hit you, never." Amy paused and then timidly she stretched out her arm. Very gingerly she touched Penny leg. Before quickly pulling back in shock, "you're real." She said shocked, "yes I'm real." Penny said confused. "I'm real to." Bernadette chipped in. Penny stared up at them in shock, before hanging her head in shame, "so it's finally happened, no more shades, instead the genuine articles are here, well go on let's get it over with. Begin the slut shaming, I deserve it after all."

Penny and Bernadette exchanged looks, "Amy, what are you talking about?" Penny asked, "We're not here to shame you," Bernadette added, her eyes still watering, Amy looked up "yo…you're not?" she asked, she sounded like she didn't believe her ears. "Of course not, come here you." Penny lent into hug her. Only pull back suddenly, a putrid reek filled the air around Amy, Penny chocked twice before taking several deep breaths. "Whoa," she exclaimed, "when was the last time you washed?" she asked, "when was the last time you ate?" Bernadette asked, staring at Amy's figure, she had gotten smaller, not starving you understand, but still noticeably thinner than before, but not in an even way.

Amy hung her head, "I don't deserve to wash, I barely deserve to rot in my own filth and I had something to eat on Saturday, so the day before yesterday." Amy replied never lifting her head. "Amy its Thursday," Bernadette said, "Oh is it," Amy replied uncaringly. Penny and Bernadette again exchanged glances. "Amy have you been here, alone, this whole time?" Penny asked. Amy solemnly nodded, "what happened to your clothes?" Bernadette asked. Amy pointed towards the sink, the burned remains of a dress and other items laid there. Walking over the two stared at what was left, she had even set her underwear alight. "I couldn't bare the sight of them any longer, not after what I had done in them." Amy replied on the brink of tears.

"Wait you did it?" Penny said, "But you had everything planned for a wonderful night together, what went wrong?" "You don't know what happened?" Amy asked shocked. "No," Penny replied. Of course, the confusion was lifted from Amy's mind, they weren't aware of her sins, that's why they've weren't shaming her or assaulting her as she deserved. Amy hung her head, Penny led her from the floor over to her coach, "I'll tell you," she said solemnly.

Amy retold the tale of the events of the night, from her unreasonable reactions, to her stupid decisions, to horrible mistake and agreement to engage in sin. Throughout the story, the girls watched her with shock; sorrow or surprise, as Amy carried onto retelling the events of what she had done, with unhealthy dose of self-loathing thrown in for good measure. Upon ending, she looked forward; neither Penny nor Bernadette knew what to say.

"Amy I…" Penny finally began, Amy hung her head in expectance, here it came, the loathing, the mocking, the shaming, Amy prepared for tears, "…can't believe you spent all this time alone." Penny finished, Amy looked up "what?" she said in genuine surprise, "you should have told us about this, you poor thing, alone and miserable for an entire month? It's beyond the realms that anyone should have to endure."

Amy blinked, "but…but…but after what I did…" Penny cut her off "yes you screwed up, you screwed up pretty big , but that's all you did, we don't think any less of you because of it, after all if I had a dollar for every mistake I made with a smooth talking guy in a bar, I would have…" Penny paused, "well the point is, were your friends and were here for you, no matter what." "No matter what." Bernadette repeated.

Amy's eyes started to water. "Thank you," she sobbed, wrapping her Arms around Penny. Penny gaged slightly due to the smell, but she ignored it as best as she could. Eventually Amy let go. "Now we've got to get you to Sheldon…." Penny began. Amy suddenly jumped backwards in shock, "Sheldon? He wouldn't want to see a harlot like me again." She said sadly. "Yes he does," Penny said. Amy shook her head sadly, "no, no he doesn't, what would he want with an adulterer who betray his trust with a total stranger, purely out of lust? He has every right if he wants to put a bullet through my head, if he does I'll hand him the gun myself."

Bernadette looked at Penny in shock, "Amy," Bernadette said gently, "it's clear that what did has caused some psychological issues for you and that's fine, because it's caused him multiple psychological issues as well." Amy looked back, "it has?" Amy asked, "Defiantly," Penny replied, "at times he's been one step away from becoming the next Ted Bundy." Amy paused; she shuddered slightly, not out of fear, but seemingly out of awe.

"Now here's what were do." Penny said, "We'll get you cleaned up, and dress you up nice and then take you to see him again, then you can talk this whole matter out likes couples do." Amy looked at them uncertainly, "I can't," she said, "Come on you can," Penny replied "no," Amy said solemnly, "Amy…" Penny said, "I can't face him," Amy said solemnly, "not after what I've done, I just can't." Penny rolled her eyes, she could be just as stubborn as he was. "Amy," she said sternly, "if you don't go and wash yourself now, I'll carry you in there and wash you myself." Amy suddenly looked up, now looking almost hopefully she stared at Penny, "you will?" she asked. "Wash now." Penny said sternly. Amy sighed and walked off. The water started to run.

Penny turned to Bernadette, "what do you think?" she asked, "I can't believe she would do that," Bernadette admitted, "I mean Amy of all people do that? If anyone else told me, I would take them to court for slander." Penny nodded, "I know, it's shocking, but that's not important, what's important, is getting those two back together, I mean look at them, she's both obsessed and crippled with guilt, has become self-hating and seems to be suffering from hallucinations which exist purely criticise her, while he's an emotional roller-coaster which is continually fluctuating between not caring, being incredibly sad or homicidally angry. If we don't get them back together I don't think either of them will get any better. And if they don't were have to have put away, before either of them really goes to far." Bernadette nodded; she had seen the scars on Amy's wrists, which hadn't been there a month earlier.

"Mind you," Bernadette went on, "it does explain why he got so angry." "It does?" Penny asked, "think about it, what made him angry? Questioning his strength in their relationship, giving him a child's toy, him failing, others suspecting the worst of him and the worry about being betrayed. All of that links back to feeling hurt by a betrayal and worried about how his actions were involved in causing it, you see?" Penny didn't but that wasn't important. "Regardless, I'll wait for her to get out; you go check and see what she's got in her wardrobe to wear, make certain its nice." Penny said. Bernadette nodded and left, leaving Penny to wait.

* * *

Slowly they walked up the stairs towards the apartment. Bernadette was in front of Amy, while Penny stood behind her, purely to stop her running away. She was practically pushing Amy up the stairs. The crossed over the last step and stood there on the landing, Amy was close to panicking now she would run for it, if it wasn't for the face that Penny blocked the stairway. "Don't worry," Bernadette said, "you look beautiful."

And truthfully she did, Bernadette had found another dress in the back of Amy's cupboard, Amy had bought it years earlier and warns it for an award ceremony, she had not worn it since. It was somewhat small, but partially thanks to self-starving, Amy was able to fit into it. It was a green dress. They also had done her hair, so it was once again nice and straight. Amy looked down at herself, "why do I have to dress up again?" she asked "I really don't feel like it, its to soon." "Because you need to apologise," Penny replied, "and when women need to apologise to men, it always works best if you dress up nice, there always much more willing to except your apology then, trust me."

Amy gulped; she still wanted to run away, where too she had no idea, just anywhere but here. Bernadette knocked on the door, and Penny practically had to push Amy inside. All eyes turned to face her as she entered. "You got her," Leonard said happily. "How is he?" Bernadette asked, "He hasn't moved once since you left," Howard replied. "Well, what do we do now?" Raj asked. Penny walked over to the corridor. "Sheldon," she shouted as loud as she could, there was no reply, "Sheldon," She shouted again. Slowly Amy tried to sneak over to the door, but before she got there Penny turned back to face them, one look and Amy winced back into the corner. "SHELDON!" She practically screamed, "There is someone here to see you."

Finally a voice called back, "I don't want to see anyone." He snapped irritably. "But…" Penny tried, "No exceptions." He shouted cutting her off. "But Sheldon," "No…Exceptions." He barked causing Penny to step back. She turned to look at the others, "Any other ideas?" she asked. "We could send her to see him?" Howard suggested. "It might work, Amy?" Leonard said. All eyes turned, Amy stood there shocked, she began shaking her head rapidly.

"Yeah, she's sort of paralysed with guilt." Bernadette added, "So how are we supposed to let him now that Amy is here to see him?" Penny asked exasperated. Suddenly there were several loud clattering noises and the door to the bathroom slammed shut, the shower started running. "Like that I guess," Leonard said supposed.

The water stopped and then several minutes later, another door slammed, there was a more great clattering and crashing noises, causing the others to turn to stare at each other. What's he doing in there? Penny mouthed, Leonard shrugged his shoulders unsurely. And then the door opened and footsteps echoed down the hall, then into the room emerged Sheldon. His hair neatly combed the side, his face clean shaven. He was standing up straight, and dressed up smartly, wearing a blue shirt. However it looked somewhat tight on him, as his constant visits the gym had caused him to get somewhat larger.

Upon entering, his eyes imminently fixed upon Amy. He slowly walked forward towards her. Upon seeing him, Amy's own eyes swept across his body, he looked even better than she remembered, with his towering figure, broad shoulders and thin hips, his soft blue eyes, his… Slowly Amy began to walk forward. The two of them stopped in the middle of the room, less than a yard from each other, still staring at each other. Neither spoke, as Amy stood there, and as her feelings of awe began to wear off, guilt spread through her once more.

Sheldon's soft eyes now seemed to be glaring down at her and now that she stood so close, she was reminded just how much taller than her, worry began to interspace the guilt. "Hello Amy," Sheldon finally said in a soft voice, "hello Sheldon," Amy managed, her voice breaking. She was shaking by this point and could barely keep eye contact with him. And with that they just stood there. Breaking the gaze, Sheldon turned to face the others "I think it would be best if you left us." Sheldon said calmly. "Are you sure Sheldon?" Leonard asked unsurely, "Please leave," he said calmly but firmly.

Excepting this the others quickly left the room, leaving Sheldon and Amy together. Amy shuddered, she wasn't afraid, not really, but she felt as guilty as sin. And now that she was alone, any confidence she had gained upon seeing him and people reacting better than she expected, was rapidly dropping, not there hadn't been much gained anyway. "So," Sheldon said calmly, the way he talked made Amy even more worried, not used to his change in accent, it sounded unusual upon her ears and through the guilt everything he said, sounded hasher. Her eyes were already watering. "I guess we have a lot to talk about."

That broke her, Amy began to sob. She fell to her knees before Sheldon. "I'm sorry," she sobbed quickly, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Sheldon was taken aback by this sudden reaction. "I'm sorry for betraying you, I really am. If I could undo it, I would, I really would" Amy sobbed, "I know what I've done, its...its unforgiveable that's what it is. But Please, please let me stay. I except and I understand if I can't be your girlfriend anymore, but please just let me stay near you, I will never ask you for anything else ever again, I'll never complain or disobey you ever again, I'll do anything you want me to do, regardless of what it is, the moment you want me to. I know I no right to ask, I'm worthless, I'm stupid, I'm a sinner, I'm not worth your time or your energy, I'm not worth anything. But please, please let stay with you, let me hang out with you still or near at least, I couldn't take losing your company, I just couldn't. So please except this. I really am sorry. I really am." She continued to sob.

"Stop," Sheldon finally managed. Amy hung her head, she had no right to ask in the first place. How could she possibly ask him to forgive her after what she had done? "Don't say that," Sheldon said calmly "Don't say any of that.". He knelt down beside her, taking her face he guided up so she was looking straight up at him, straight into his soft blue eyes. "Don't sell yourself short," he said, "you're not worthless and you're not stupid, you're a wonderful person, a very wonderful person." "I am?" Amy asked surprised, "yes," Sheldon replied.

He gently guided her to her feet, led her over to the sofa and sat down next to her. "I'm not angry," he said calmly, "not with you at least, I thought I was, but then I realised that I was angry with myself." "What do you mean?" Amy asked shocked, "you didn't do anything wrong." Sheldon shrugged, "no I did, I shouldn't have left you alone in that room, I should have stayed, I should have heard what you had to say, but I was just so shocked I needed to be on my own, and at the time I thought it was for the best. Now looking I realise that if I hadn't left, the two of us wouldn't have gone through all these problems, we could have ended this matter there and then. It dragging on, is as much my fault as it is yours. But that isn't why I was angry."

He shook his head, "No I was angry, very angry, but I was angry with myself, because I felt I failed, my actions had driven from me into the arms of another man, I had done that." He shook his head solemnly, "looking back I can't help but wonder what I did wrong? I mean I know I wasn't perfect, I didn't always comply with what you wanted, I didn't always show you how I felt and I couldn't give you all you wanted, but I was trying and I never imagined things were that bad. On that night I thought what I was doing would make you feel better because I wasn't forcing you into doing something you didn't want, how did it all go so wrong?" He shook his head, Amy tried to speak, but Sheldon silenced her "no I don't want amy answers, it's not important, not any more."

"So you're not angry with me for betraying you?" Amy asked, "I'm hurt and I'm disappointed," Sheldon said, Amy hung her head again but Sheldon guided her back up, "but no, I'm not angry." "So what now?" Amy asked. Sheldon sighed, "Amy," he said calmly, "when I first met you, I assumed are relationship would be little more than all my other relationships, forged out of enjoying the others company and would exist only as long as that continued. After that it would be terminated as it was clearly no longer beneficial. I assume you had similar opinions at the start."

Amy nodded slowly, unsure where this was going. "Well it is now nothing short of certain that for once we were both wrong. It is clear that neither of us can carry on are lives the same way as before without the other." Amy gulped, "Forgive me if this applies more to me than you, however I sense that the events have left a few scars on you as well." Sheldon added. "But the point is we have only two choices left in front of us, so here Amy is my ultimatum."

He looked directly at her, and for the first time his vision turned slightly cold, "what you did that night, it hurt me Amy, it really hurt me. My first thought when I heard it was at the time was that it couldn't be true; I almost attacked the man who told me for daring to say such things. And then I saw you and him with my own eyes, but I still didn't believe it, I…I couldn't believe it. Even when I pulled that jerk off you and knocked him cold I was still denying it, and then I saw your face. You were looking at me in a way I had never seen before. You were so afraid, so shocked, and so guilt ridden, it was then I realised it was true."

Amy gulped, this is what she had dreaded, it was painful to hear him saying this, and with every word she felt the throbbing pain in her chest grow. "And it broke me," he went, "it really broke me, I am not ashamed to admit that. I haven't been myself in a month, I've done things I would never do, I can no longer enjoy what I love, I've destroyed treasured possessions out of rage, I even hurt my friends. Everything, every since point of stability, its all been broken, I have even had to take up constant intensive exercise to stop my aggressive outbursts." Looking down at him Amy couldn't help but notice his larger form, she temporarily distracted her guilt, by letting her imagination run wild, before snapping back to reality. This was important.

"But," Sheldon went on "what is broken can be repaired, what was once can be again, like the Phoenix we can carry on, we can rise from the ashes of are previous strife anew." He paused to let his words sink in "Or we can end it all, finish it here and now, terminate everything, we can stop it, so that we never see each other again, cut off all forms of communication, you go your way, I'll go mine, and if that doesn't work, I guess I'll except that job offer I got in Caroline, thus making sure we never see each other again. Those are your options, so what do you want?"

Amy paused, taken aback by his statements, "I don't want to lose you," she said, "I can't live without you, I would miss you too much, I couldn't bare it. You were the first person to ever understand me, the first person who I could talk to properly, you opened up the doorway into a new and much better life for me, every one of my social successes and improvements are because of you and for that I'm eternally grateful." She paused, "What do you want?" she asked worried.

Sheldon sighed, "Amy," he said calmly. "Before I met you I always considered the idea of a person needing a partner, another, was simply something that had been invented to justify monogamy and then I met you and I realised that sometimes it is better to be with one person. There are some people who are just better together than they are alone. I don't want to lose you either, you're the one who made me realise that there were still areas in my life that I hadn't completed just yet other than my career. We are more akin than anyone else I ever met in my lifetime. You're the first person, who actually made feel like I was talking to another person, you're the first person to make me feel content about thing that I didn't like and you're the only person who I would consider changing for, that's how I feel about you."

Silence fell and the two stared at each other and for the first time in so many days, Amy smiled. "Can you forgive me?" she asked, "yes," Sheldon replied calmly. She paused before continuing, "Do you forgive me?" she asked. "no," Sheldon solemnly replied, Amy was taken back, "you don't?" she asked shocked. Sheldon shook his head, "I honestly wish I could, but I can't. It just me hurt too much." Amy stared in shock, after that had been said, this was it? "That doesn't mean I will never be able to forgive, I've already said that I can." Sheldon continued. "But with me forgiveness is like trust, I can't give it, if you want it you have to earn it back."

Amy nodded sadly, he was right, she was a fool to think that she could get away with what she had done scot free. "Do you want to punish me?" she asked sadly. Sheldon shook his head. "No," he said solemnly, "I propose we act much as we did that night you got drunk and kissed me. We set are relationship back a few lengths and just start again. If we want to get back to where we were, we have to work, and that is what I propose to you." Amy nodded, that sounded fair. "Now there is a movie on tonight that I thought about watching, but decided I wouldn't be able to enjoy due to my emotional issues, now that we have cleared them up I see no reason why I shouldn't enjoy it and I extend the hand of invitation for you to stay and watch it with me, if you want to."

Amy sighed, "Yes I'll stay," she said, "You don't know what it's about yet." Sheldon said, "I don't care," Amy replied, "as long as I get to stay with you, I don't care, and I will as long as you want me to, like you said I have work to do, I've got to earn your forgiveness and I will, I promise you that now, I will do it regardless of how long it takes." Sheldon nodded and with that he finally smiled, he switched on the TV and flicked to the channel. Of course Amy knew she wouldn't enjoy the movie, but she owed it to Sheldon to stay. So she decided to perceiver. Never the less her good fortune pushed her forward. She knew she was very lucky that things had gone this way, if they had swapped places she didn't know if she would have been able to forgive him, so the fact he was willing to forgive her meant a lot to her. But despite it all, despite her better judgement, she decided to push her luck.

"Sheldon," she asked, almost timidly, "yes Amy?" Sheldon asked, "you know you said we stepped back several steps in are relationship?" she asked, "yes?" Sheldon replied wondering where this was going. Amy paused; a good portion of her told her not to ask, but the portion that did was slightly larger. "Are we yet at the stage that I can request that we hold hands during a movie?" Amy asked. She regretted it second she said it. What was she doing? She was very lucky as it was, why was she pushing her luck?

Sheldon paused, "no," he said calmly, "I'm afraid you're not," Amy nodded, it was to be expected, Sheldon had never liked holding hands anyway, why should he agree to her request? After all she was in no position to make one. And then Sheldon grabbed Amy's hand. Amy stared at him, "what are you doing?" she asked. "Holding your hand," Sheldon replied, "do you want me to stop?" "No, but why?" Amy replied, "You said I wasn't in at the stage yet were I could hold your hand." "You're not," Sheldon replied, "but I am, so take this as an example of the fact I willing to work to rebuild what we had, just as you are." Amy smiled, for a moment there eyes met again. Before turning back to the movie.

* * *

Slowly Penny and Leonard walked up to Leonards apartment, it had been a week since they had managed to get Amy and Sheldon back together, and since then the two had been almost inseparable, they spent most of their free time together, Sheldon even took her to the gym with him. He had decided to keep going, now only once a week, thus allowing he and Kurt to hang out more often, just his way of thanking Kurt for helping him with his issues. What Sheldon and Amy did together was anyone's guess, but they were together and that was all that mattered. And to night Penny and Leonard planned to follow suit and spend the night together.

However Sheldon had sent them both a text saying he wanted them to meet him in the apartment at precisely Six O'clock. Unsure Leonard opened the door; the two were met with an amazing sight. The counter was piled with food. Walking over they both stared, the food looked and smelled delicious, and it was both their favourites, complete with German chocolate Cake for dessert. "Do you like it?" Sheldon asked.

They turned; neither had spotted him standing in the landing. "Yes, what is all this?" Leonard asked, "Dinner," Sheldon replied, "for you," "you made all this?" Penny asked, Sheldon nodded, "why?" she enquired. Sheldon sighed, "My Memaw always used to say that meetings and apologies were best complimented with food. And that is what I need to do, apologise that is, to the both of you."

"You don't need to apologise," Leonard said, Sheldon shook his head, "yes I do. I acted terribly during that period of emotional problems; I took my anger out on both of you. That's exactly the same sort of thing that people used to do to me as a child, and I always hated those sorts of people, I guess that's irony for you, finding out that you are what you hate." He hung his head sadly.

"You're not like them," Leonard said, "what makes you say that, I acted just like them." Sheldon replied, "You were just going through some stuff," Penny added, "regardless of how I felt, that didn't give me the right to treat you like I did, I could have seriously hurt you." He said sadly. "But you didn't," Penny replied, "but I could have," Sheldon added sadly. "Well, maybe you could have, but you didn't and that's all that matters. Did any of those people who used to hurt you ever apologise like this?" Penny asked.

"No," Sheldon replied. "There see, your nothing like them." Penny added. Sheldon straightened up, "no, I'm more like them I want to be," he said sadly, "but I guess I'm not the same." And with that he smiled, "well aren't you going to get started." He asked, "Sure do you want to join us?" Leonard asked, "Can't," Sheldon replied, "I'm going to see Amy, besides there's not enough food for three,"

"You've been spending a lot of time together," Leonard said, "I know," Sheldon replied, "so how are you feeling, buddy?" Leonard asked. "I feel, fine," Sheldon said calmly, "and how's Amy doing?" Penny asked, "she's fine, were both fine," Sheldon replied calmly, "well if you're sure," Penny said worriedly, "don't worry," Sheldon said calmly, "were well aware that unlike movies, in real life psychological problems don't just vanish just because of a makeup. We've spent a lot of time discussing are issues and problems with each other, and I think it's safe to say that were both going to be fine." The others nodded. "Well I better get going," Sheldon said, "Amy will be waiting for me." And with that he left. Penny turned to Leonard, "you know," she said "I have a feeling that all that pain might have actually brought them closer than before." Leonard nodded and the two continued eating.

* * *

Sheldon sat next to Amy, they were both alone in Amy's apartment, "It's funny really," Amy said with a smile, "what is?" Sheldon asked, "a week ago I was cowering here, terrified I wouldn't even make it through the night, now I'm happily sitting here with you." Sheldon nodded, "I suppose that is amusing," he said, "a week ago, I was mostly exhausted, constantly doing things I didn't want to do, as it was the only thing that made me stop being angry, now the very idea of getting angry is beyond me."

The two sighed, "I guess it really is better that we're together," Amy said, "It always was," Sheldon replied. Amy turned to face him, the two's eyes met and they both smiled again, "I still feel guilty for what I did," Amy said, "as do I," Sheldon replied, "scars never really disappear, but they do stop hurting eventually." Amy nodded, "how long is eventually though?" she asked. Sheldon shrugged, "does it really matter? After all every else is right again." he said. "No I suppose it doesn't." Amy sighed. "So do you want to go anywhere?" she asked. "No," Sheldon replied, "let's just sit here and enjoy each other's company." Amy nodded, "sure." She said happily, "sure." She paused, "just one thing," she added. "What?" Sheldon asked, "Are you going to keep your new voice?" Amy asked. "Why don't you like it?" Sheldon asked. Amy paused unsure if she had offended him, only for Sheldon to carry on "because I sure don't," he said in his normal voice, "that's the reason I dropped it years ago." Amy smiled, the two of them just smiled. They were together again, and that was all that mattered.

* * *

**Okay that's it, I hope you found parts you enjoy. Like I said, its not really a good chapter. And again I'm sorry to those of you who liked this story and would have enjoyed it being longer. I'm sorry, I just couldn't keep it going.**

**Please review, and feel free to include any complaints you have in them. Well thanks for reading.**


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